Earlier this month I was reflecting on one of my greatest joys in coaching. It’s one of those rare things that makes me feel extra-excited about my work.

Every once in a while, I get to see someone change who they are in a positive way, but also in a way that would have been totally unacceptable to their past self. Even to the degree that they begin a new life.

This could be as simple as listening as someone reflects on a new thing they’ve learned, and then concludes, “I’d like to do more of that, and become more of that kind of person. I wish I could have been more like that in the past.”

The really rare example is when someone says, “I’ve thought about who I used to be. I used to be like [description]. Marc, I know you always try to accommodate that aspect of who I am in our coaching discussions. I’m grateful for it, but I’m ready to move on now and I’ve decided I want to be more of a [description] type of person. For that reason, I’d like to talk about [previously untouchable options, ideas, perspectives] more often.”

Boom! Wow. It’s shocking and exciting—and sometimes they have to repeat this to me a few times, because it’s hard for me to move on! (I’m still sitting there thinking, “is this really happening?”)

I want to share a bit about how and why this is scary and tricky, but another example first:

I once had a client who was outwardly enamored with their own impactfulness, their impressiveness, and the great person they had already become. And there was no doubt—this person had done great things!

I was, in part, grateful that the client had this identity to reference during difficult times. It formed a helpful backstop in some ways, and helped them to gather courage and forge ahead. For this reason, taken in isolation, it made no sense to harbor concerns about the way in which they reflected upon their identity.

However, in another way, the same set of perspectives protected this person against future growth opportunities. It raised the distinct possibility that their ability to harness dynamism as a growth tool was mostly in their past. Meanwhile, they came to me because they had real problems to solve. They had wanted scheduled accountability and an opportunity for reflective discussions.

I asked: “How can we map your past effectiveness onto your current situation?”

In this case, their insistence upon their past-effectiveness led them to announce a bit of a logical contradiction:

• I’m an effective person, but I’m also not an effective person.

This was a small moment, but a funny one. Usually when this conclusion is announced out loud, it’s a moment where one has to decide what they’re going to do: Continue struggling under an illogical self-definition, or laugh, or go quiet, and steam a bit, or ask for some feedback, or dig into the details, or…what?

There’s this “void” that is reached. New psychological ground, maybe. A new perspective on things which seems to demand reflection. But it’s also blank. It’s a nothingness.

I like to call this “the departure.” In the “dearly departed” sense. In that sense, the subject’s past has become dead to them. Even if just for a moment, all thoughts are upon next moves, not past moves. There is barely even a present tense to grasp.

We could call this the afterlife passage, maybe. In the sense that it’s a transit point to the next “life” for this person.

However, reaching this point isn’t by itself that big of a deal. It’s what comes afterward. The set of decisions. The qualitative result of reflecting on that new point. It’s the “then what.”

The afterlife itself.

And I think what is always impressive is when that set of decisions is reached with a conscious sense of humility. It’s a combination of “yes, I’m great, and I’ve done great things.” SO, AND, THEREFORE, “I can bring humility and reflection and a beginner’s mind into this new problem which I couldn’t solve, and probably still expect a good result.”

I wouldn’t call it a goal of mine to see people make this kind of change, in part because qualitatively deep changes aren’t even really necessary a lot of the time. But it’s a real exciting thing. When someone turns a corner like this, they are usually about to:

• Make some amazing new discoveries
• Probably make some scary new discoveries
• Recognize that their old tools aren’t as helpful as they used to be
• Attempt to predict the future, with generally poor results (references to patterns from their past don’t help much; even the philosophy or psychology class you took in the past was experienced through your then-perceptions)
• Feel some stress when they think about the scary new tools they may need to learn, and use
• Think about developing new tools that integrate their gifts and also help with new growth struggles

I believe we have every reason to fear those scary things. A commitment to learning is a commitment to growth. And a commitment to growth is a commitment, in part, to stress. Stressors. Anxiety. Taking on additional anxiety is, in my experience, best done consciously.

I also believe it’s our capacity to work through that fear that can put us into a new, more desirable position or mental state. Working through the fear allows us to look back and say, “things are much better now, and I’m a new person, and maybe the old me wouldn’t even like who they would think I’ve become. But in truth things are much better here, now.” A strange, funny, scary, but often powerful and enjoyable outcome.

Conversely there are sad and frustrating outcomes for both coach and client. But I’ll have to share more about those another time.

Filed in: Essays /52/ | Openness /49/ | Therapeutic Practice /144/ | Thinking /70/

A little bit of sci-fi conceptualization: Could aliens represent a collective-unconscious view of the role of the intuitive psychology in the future of humanity?

Is the alien a symbol of the highly-intuitive psychology?

• Big heads/minds.
• Weak bodies (compared to the sensory strength, the image of the strong body)
• Collectively feared, yet physically weak
• The mental powers are scary.
• Reading minds.
• Knowing what people think before those people do anything.
• Communicating via mental models.
• Creating new technologies.
• Prophesying about humanity’s future.
• Comfortable in dealing with and navigating the unknown.
• Looking after the big picture of humanity, in some sense.
• Unconcerned with rather archaic notions (e.g. transcending traditional models—genderless, often without a nationality).

Where we (humanity) are going, we may need to draw on the powerful (big-picture, intellectual, prophetic) gifts of these “aliens”…

Could the alien be seen as a sort of gift to ourselves—less of an external phenomenon, perhaps (or perhaps not), but also a powerful set of exemplary mental models which will be needed as humanity matures and becomes whole?

Think about the scientist, too. The stereotypical NT personality. Intuitives. Always a bridge between mankind and the understanding of or communicating with aliens…psychologically this makes a lot of sense.

Filed in: Interests /111/ | Thinking /70/ | Openness /49/

Recently we (the Carson family) started a scouting and adventuring organization. We decided to call it the Junior AdventureChucks, or just AdventureChucks for short.

You are invited to join, no matter who or where you are. We also extend this invitation at the interplanetary scale, inviting all species, known and unknown, to join and spread the word of AdventureChucking. There are no age limits, so even the youngest or oldest human, alien, or hybrid may join.

The “Junior” prefix and “-Chucks” suffix are a nod to the Junior Woodchucks, created by Carl Barks for Disney comics. (I recommend reading that article, too, because it’s got lots of fun history and details.)

First Rank

As a scouting-inspired organization, the Junior AdventureChucks are developing a ranking system.

In the Junior AdventureChucks, ranks are meant to be fun. Holding a rank does not convey any particular power or indicate any special knowledge. It is meant as a sign of openness, growth, and willingness to embrace the adventure mindset.

We’ve determined that newcomers to the AdventureChucks are automatically assigned the starting rank of Ding Dong Kitty after they complete a simple initiation process. (This rank is meant to sound fun but also a bit limiting and ridiculous, which I always thought was an amusing aspect of traditional scouting.)

To make the sign of the Ding Dong Kitty, and thus to self-initiate into this rank, one must complete these steps:

1. Airplane Ears. Point your hands backward over your head, with your palms resting on top of your head above your ears. Hold your fingers together (flat hand), pointing toward the back of your head and a bit outward toward the sides.
2. Crossed Eyes: Cross your eyes, as if attempting to look at your nose.
3. The Call of the Ding Dong Kitty: Say “wow” in a monotone voice, as if you are a bit confused but also excited, but also a cat.

Once you have performed this important rank initiation process, stand and say, “I am a Junior AdventureChuck!” This completes your voluntary initiation into the organization.

To greet another Ding Dong Kitty:

1. Perform the Airplane Ears and Crossed Eyes, as explained above.
2. Let your mouth hang open a little.
3. Make a “cat sniffing” motion by bobbing your nose up and down a bit, in the direction of the other Ding Dong Kitty.
4. The other Ding Dong Kitty should reply with the Call of the Ding Dong Kitty (explained above).
5. Warm relations should ensue.

Badges

We are building out a list of badges. So far, my kids have earned AdventureChuck Badges like:

• Besplosion Badge: Start a campfire, with adult supervision. Optionally, cook hot dogs or other foods above said campfire.
• Black Hole Badge: Dig a hole that is at least as deep as your waist, again with adult supervision
• Iceball Badge: Observe a Comet (NEOWISE in this case)

We look forward to publishing more badges in the future.

Principles of Junior AdventureChucks

• We are always Junior. There is no senior. We encourage play, fun, growth, and learning, first and foremost.
• We are always Adventuring. Every day is an adventure. We encourage the planning of new adventures. Adventures can be big (travel somewhere and do something, usually taking 2+ days), or small (stay where you are, look around you, observe, contemplate, and appreciate).
• We are always Chucks. We have yet to determine what this means, and we look forward to figuring it out.

Affiliations and Leadership

AdventureChucks is not connected to any other organizations. We are not affiliated with any religious or political group. We welcome those of any belief system or nationality to join us.

The current President of the AdventureChucks is Marc Carson (that’s me). I’m a life coach, hiker, camper, and Eagle Scout, and with the help of others, I hope to integrate the best of what I’ve learned into AdventureChucks.

Well, that’s all for now. With time, we’ll see how this goes. We have a lot of work to do! A website to build, a guidebook to write, and some membership certificates to put out there for starters.

If you’d like to share your adventures on social platforms, please use the hashtag #adventurechucks liberally.

Special INTJ Membership Notes

AdventureChucks membership is open to all personality types, and I mainly announced it here on my INTJ blog because it’s the first place that came to mind.

Memberships, certification, credentials, belonging, and group identity vs. individuality can be troublesome concepts to INTJs. For that reason, the more you resemble Jung’s Model M1-A1, “voice crying in the wilderness” INTJ, the more you may be repulsed by the idea of joining just about any group.

Speaking to that point, I would simply point out that the Junior AdventureChucks intentionally sets a very low bar, with virtually zero membership implications. In case feelings of conflictedness arise, I would encourage you not to overthink this one—you’re welcome to join, use the membership as a psychological cue to plan and undertake your own adventures in your own way, and have fun. You can quit or decide you’re not a member anymore at any time.

Speaking as President of the AdventureChucks, we’d love to have you as a member—even if it’s only a membership bond of the loosest variety.

Filed in: Publications /44/ | Interests /111/

I was journaling about weight loss recently, and realized that the cyclic management approach is much more appealing to me than it used to be. In the cyclic approach, people go on a diet “cycle” and then seem to repeat this over and over. The thought of this approach used to drive me crazy. A friend would ask, “hey, have you tried the new diet everybody’s doing?” and I’d instantly feel myself withdrawing and cringing. Fad diets would seem to feed into this completely messed-up idea.

As I started my own weight loss journey, I was heavily biased toward showing how there’s no need for cyclic dieting or fads. And I really wanted there to be one big answer to the weight loss question. Like my INTJ dad, who was also interested in weight loss, my mantra was, “you don’t need all those fad diets! Here’s the one answer you DO need!” In service of that mantra, I’d constantly try to sum up my experiences into a sentence or even just a couple of words.

It’s embarrassing to admit now, but I was over-attached to the one-answer mindset. In pursuit of that one answer, I kept going bigger, in terms of the “big picture.” As soon as there were two, three, or four answers, I’d group them together under one term. As an example, “Keep a journal, keep a spreadsheet, monitor your calories, hydrate a lot, exercise, and measure your progress” became “measure things.” This felt good to my big-picture ego. Things should be kept simple in order to be effective!

But at that point the cycle would start—I put on a bit more more weight, and the fear that my “one answer” might not be working became a fear-based stress factor that helped me put on more weight. I felt like a hypocrite.

“I know this! I know how to lose weight,” I’d tell myself, in frustration. If I knew it already, why wasn’t the answer working?

My conceit was that I thought I could solve the problem A) in that one way, and B) for good and forever. I would then show others how my way was better than the traditional cyclic response.

(It doesn’t help that people will ask you, “how’d you do it,” as if they’re expecting one answer. We do not owe this question a half-assed response.)

I’ve come around to see the big problems with this approach. Human psychology is super dynamic and the idea that there’s “one thing” is not only limiting, but it’s practically a challenge to our own psychology, to the part that speaks in a different voice and seems to undermine our every big plan with its own ideas.

There’s also a logical bind that can occur. As an example, let’s say that “learning” is a helpful method of weight loss to someone. They research, study, and plan, and then boom—weight loss occurs. Well, once they’ve “learned” how to lose weight—the “one” way—they’re not learning anymore. They already learned it. So we can’t be too surprised when that person starts to gain weight again. There’s nothing left to be learned.

This learning example further points at the need to understand that there’s always more to learn. The growth mindset. Sometimes this is really, really difficult to admit. This is especially true, I think, when an INTJ engages with others as a “person who knows things.” The risk they work to avoid is being caught not knowing something. So this identity needs to be altered or replaced in order to prevent this individual from ending up in what could be a truly terrible situation.

Regarding the big-picture, with which we INTJs are so fascinated as a group: My zoomed-out, big-picture approach got so big that I realized I was holding an ever-expanding bag of tricks. Eventually I had to stop trying to label the bag, and look inside the bag, and rearrange things. And the bag is full of little-picture stuff. And much of it is really good little-picture stuff.

So, as frustrating as it was to learn this, I can see that it’s helping me continue to reach my weight loss goals. All of these items need to be addressed: Cyclic responsiveness and analysis of details. And big-picture solutions and meta-considerations. If the meta-combination of the two seems to offer that the problem is solvable in the big picture with this one meta-method, it at least prompts us to concede that the “one” method may also be millions or billions of methods, requiring a lot of blood and tears—depending on one’s perspective.

Filed in: Essays /52/ | Interests /111/ | Energy /120/ | Dieting /18/

WTF is wrong with my INTJ

Some days I feel like I have every answer to this question. On other days I feel like I have none of the answers to this question.

The INTJ archetype, as a type, is super troubling in lots of ways. So I think part of the key to the most relevant set of answers to this question is figuring out where your INTJ differs, or enjoys differing, from that archetype.

What’s the best career for INTJs?

Oooh! TOTALLY become an economist. Wait, no. IT guy. No…no, I’ve got it! Web developer. Oh! Financial strategist. Well, or a professor.

OK. Professor, there you go. Just be really careful in how you communicate, professor. INTJs can fall into that “empathy blind spot” quite easily. So, be kind to people. Try to be gentle.

Well actually, that makes me think…you’ll need to learn to be less of an INTJ in a lot of important ways. That’s relevant to your career for sure. The same is true of life in general…

Huh. Well actually if THAT’s true, then maybe you could do…almost anything? The question of work itself becomes more of an exercise in creativity, open-mindedness, growth, change, and hopefully even fun…

I’ll probably write more about this later…

A lot of times you are critical of INTJs. I feel like some of the things you say are harsh, but INTJs are just people, and we’re not all that bad.

This might come from my having been a pretty unhealthy INTJ myself. I was frightened, desperate, paranoid, critical, selfish, rude, and a bunch of other embarrassing things. That was a relevant part of my life journey.

If you are feeling the heat, I admit that I have a lot to say to my past self. If it feels too harsh, please know that I’m probably not talking about you, or to you. But I also have a lot of good stuff to say about INTJs, and I try to highlight those things here when I can.

Do you think personality type is real?

Nope.

Well, yep. But also nope.

The nope part makes it really fun to write about.

What’s your favorite book?

It might be Surely You’re Joking, Mr. Feynman. That book sang lullabies to me until I finally swallowed it whole at about 38 years of age. I don’t find myself reading it as often now, because it’s fortunately become part of me forever. But I read it more times than I read holy scripture, and I used to be a missionary…

I’m a very ambitious INTJ. What’s one tip I should…

No…no…please. Don’t do this to yourself. Stick around, read, digest. Commit.

What’s your favorite strategy game?

I have a few ongoing military strategy campaigns. I am some kind of cross between a simulationist and a strategist, so these are more like improvisations.

These days I find that I really like the story, and the people, so I’m less of a strategist than I ever was…

I mostly use strategy at work, where I help people strategize prior to important decisions, or meetings, or planning sessions.

That’s all for now! Enjoy the week.

Filed in: Randomness /26/ | Coaching /27/ | Interests /111/ | Careers /40/

In recent years I’ve noticed that my level of seriousness has taken a really big hit.

Some of this comes from working with INTJs. Some (not all) of whom are deadly serious indeed. Many of these INTJs can’t help it, which totally sucks. They are really hard on their bodies and mental health. And they continually up the stakes in their lives, when it would probably be better to lower the stakes as soon as possible.

(I’m realizing here that a lot of these people would tell you they love to enjoy life and take it easy, which is true but also hallucinatory after they open up to you. Speaking generally, for example, sudden and violent swings toward after-hours fun and enjoyment do not a life-enjoying person make)

Regardless, after a while—I hate to say it, but—seeing this deadly-seriousness gets super old. Deadly-seriousness seems to go hand in hand with fixed thinking, pessimism, suspicion, skepticism, long-format critique, misguided attempts at prediction and prophesy, lack of empathy, crushing emotional debt, broken relationships, and soon you have this dark fractal in which troubling patterns of decay seem to enlarge by the second.

Man, that totally sucks for everybody involved.

For that reason I’m grateful to be headed in the less-serious direction nowadays. Some observations:

• If you take things less seriously, it’s like all the bad stuff in life goes down. Stress, blood pressure, the seriousness of some random genetic condition you might have, probably your bar tab, the risk of a sad break-up. Who wouldn’t want this?
• If you take things less seriously, a lot of life’s fun stuff, or interesting stuff, gets way more fun and interesting.
• If you take things less seriously, it’s also way easier to raise children, which is something I like to do as a hobby.
• And finally, if you take things less seriously, you’ll simply discover that fluff is stuff, stuff is fluff, and blingblorg bloodle-doo.

But being less-serious can also be really annoying. Here is the chain of events that led me to that conclusion:

• Since I’m not as serious as I used to be, I don’t get into as many arguments as I used to. Here I’m thinking mostly about internet arguments, but also sometimes there’s the interpersonal IRL situation with a friend, family member, etc. And I never would have thought that not getting into arguments would be annoying.
• Why is this annoying? It turns out that sometimes there’s an ethical, or commendable, or “yeah probably go for it” reason to dive into the fray and have an argument, or at least an argu-discussion.
• Now that I do this less often, there’s a bit more inner resistance to the idea, a bit more justification required. And that justification process takes energy, thought, and emotion.
• But sometimes it’s really clear: Someone is hurting people. It needs to stop. Something needs to be said. Your personal values and ethics may prod you and goad you and make you feel bad for not taking things more seriously.
• WHY CAN’T I ARGUE LIKE I USED TO??? sobs
• (I will add here that since I’ve been studying cognitive blind spots for nearly a decade now, it’s also become easier to see how an argument might be won, and sometimes decisively, at that. Disappointingly though, it turns out that when people are confronted by their blind spots, they may depart from logic or reasoning entirely, and behave in embarrassing or even shameful ways. Yes, even INTJs. We’re all humans, man)

Also, outside of arguments, another example:

• I find that I can’t be as serious with really serious people. They wear me out more than they used to; I kind of mentioned this above.
• This can leave me feeling somewhat less effective with serious types.
• I used to be a serious type.
• So could I even help my past self? Would my past self absolutely hate who I’ve become?
• This is oddly troubling, especially when I come across an INTJ who reminds me of my past self. I don’t think I would have had an easy time making it beyond past-self’s rigorous filtering system.
• Part of me is still that guy, and therefore some feelings of dissonance can arise.
• Looking back on past-self, I can also see that I narrowly avoided some much worse outcomes in life. That’s scary to consider. At the same time I start to wonder what other, better outcomes currently I’m missing out on.
• One never knows—but still, this is an emotional process. It’s hard to think about for a while without feeling energy draining away.

Where this puts me

Realizing how easy it is to effectively dichotomize things into “am I serious or NOT,” I have been considering a more nuanced way of modeling this. I want my silly, funny side to have lots of opportunities to develop. And I also want my serious, serious, ever-so-serious side to develop into something with less of an emotional bar tab.

My sense right now is that my silly side would benefit if I set more boundaries around the serious side so that I can feel more free to be an easygoing guy. In other words, how long will I be super serious about topic X, on a weekly or daily basis? Even a half hour might be too much, depending on the circumstances. So this will require some thought and even some planning.

On another axis, I want to continue developing in a way that is more likely to help bring happiness and good energy to those around me.

And I want to have time to do my own stuff, too, even if no one else is into it at all. I mean, I’m not just going around thinking about boundaries and planning all day. No thanks.

There are a lot of questions like this that have come up lately, as I become less of an INTJ and more of something(s) else(s).

Filed in: Energy /120/ | People /74/ | Essays /52/ | Control /110/ | Feeling /64/ | Relationships /78/ | Therapeutic Practice /144/ | Parenting /5/

Let’s get seriously therapeutic here.

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you know that I learned that randomness is helpful to me. It’s practically the how ‘bout both of Ni & Ne, in this guy’s humble opinion. Random inputs come in, and Ne is like “THE WHOLE WORLD AT YOUR FINGERTIPS” and then Ni gloms onto this one or that one and goes, “oh you know why THIS is cool, or helpful, or chillingly awful???” (Hopefully less of the latter, but anyway, Ni tends to try to resolve down to one “thing” I should do in the future with the new information, for example.)

So I’m always trying new things in this area, and they’re almost always mind-expanding, and that’s fun. (Also, come on Ni: Why so serious!!!) Randomness is also a really nice recovery tool when things get a bit over-productive.

My latest random thing is this: Random Subreddits. Reddit, like some other websites, has this special URL which will take you to a random subreddit. So I mapped that URL to a keyboard shortcut, and now I just tap Ctrl+Super+R a bunch of times and poof, I have a bunch of tabs full of instant random and likely-new-to-me browsing material.

Here are some experiences I’ve had with that:

ENFPs

Personality type joke: I thought it was pretty funny that /r/ENFP was the first personality subreddit to appear while I was browsing random subreddits. If you get the Ne joke, you get the Ne joke.

2meIRL4meIRL

I really like the self-deprecating humor here. I mean, some of it is just so identifiable during a hard day. It’s a refreshing break from the “let me show you my great stuff and you’ll show me your great stuff and it will be so fire” subs.

Cuphead

I had no idea about this game but really enjoyed learning that it exists.

Barbers

People talk serious barber business over at /r/barbers. I never would have guessed. Man, those cowlicks.

Sports in General

It’s kinda cool that there’s a general /r/sports subreddit which allows a broader exposure to sports stuff.

Android Apps

I guess as a techie, it’s always good to find new sources of recommendations for software on various plafroms, and for Android, AndroidApps is one of them.

Rainmeter

Wait, people still use Rainmeter? Man, I used to use that in like 2005! I swear, Windows software lasts forever. Huh.

Maybe someday there will be a real-life Dyson Sphere and somewhere in the staff who maintain and manage that Dyson Sphere there will be someone who runs Rainmeter. Actually yeah, that’s very likely. I’m calling it.

Ultrawide Master Race

For fans of ultra-wide aspect ratios. ohhhhkayyy. But I’d like to have more of an opinion on this in the future, I guess. I’d like to try some ultra-wide stuff. I have an ultra-wide desktop on my compy, but it’s spread across two monitors…

I’m not a big fan of the “Master Race” title so much anymore…it seems to have a lot of depressing baggage these days.

WarshipPorn

A weird flex, but OK, show me ur cool stuff.

Rep Ladies

OK, so RepLadies. I already knew about Fashion Reps and Designer Reps and Rep Sneakers and definitely RepTronics, so this wasn’t a huge surprise, but it’s kinda neat to see this trend expanding. It has opened up some psychological & philosophical questions for me. Which is always fun.

OT Memes

Original Trilogy Star Wars memes are still a thing I guess. I appreciated this one

Taco Bell

Wait, so Taco Bell has one…some funny stuff there. OH and there’s /r/fastfood …I love this. Posting while hungry. Sometimes I like trying new fast food menu items. (This is made a bit difficult by the fact that my wife is an amazing cook, but I persevere.)

HorrorLit

I’m looking forward to learning more and I had no idea I could use some recommendations for this. I’m more horror-resilient these days, I think.

Summary

In summary, I hope you can see why I like this new keyboard shortcut.

Filed in: Interests /111/ | Ne /17/ | Intuition /62/ | Therapeutic Practice /144/ | Randomness /26/ | Energy /120/ | Technology /41/ | Openness /49/ | Ni /42/

In exchange for a massive bout of productivity this morning, my exercise plans were absolutely detonated. BOOM. (In my house, this type of explosive psycho-chemical reaction tends to leave Pop Tart residue everywhere.)

This is a new thing for me. If I need to be super-productive, I cancel my morning exercise plans and try to wake up in spike mode. About 4-5 sleep cycles, and no attention paid to waking on-cycle, will do it. Then I pour my exercise energy into my productivity. It’s a conscious exchange, and it mostly works really well.

The problem is that productivity has this addictive, feedback-loopy element to it, and it can suck the entire day’s energy dry.

And indeed, all of my energy had been sucked bone-dry as I tied off several projects, laying absolute waste to my to-do list. It was so epic guys. The results were practically terrifying to my feely-side. “How did you even manage that, you sexy thing,” she asked, quivering with each pleasurable wave as she counted the completed items. One…two…oooh, here’s a hard one, was it hard?…three…oooh

(‘Cuz day-to-day productivity is this hyper-sexual signalling device, or else my local Top 40 radio station obviously wouldn’t have all these songs which sound a lot like ExFPs waxing lyrical about why they found their adorable yet absolutely uncaring IxTJ so sexy in the first place. RIP and you deserve way better, and this blog is so about that)

After wrapping things up, I had this thought: OK, my intuition is telling me that exercise would be a really bad idea right now. I can feel it in my bones. So…maybe I’ll feel more like getting some exercise if I get out of my chair and walk to the house. Sometimes it helps.

I walked inside, mopily. Mopingly? Sluggardly. Hoodie most definitely on, and pulled down to the brows.

Mere minutes later I found myself in bed, wondering how to save my day. lol

Save the day? Nope, my hero energy was shot. I needed to save my day. Unfortunate, but very real.

I did my Fi-recapture thing, and started lol-ing my way through various Youtube videos. Took some ibuprofen, because I really outdid myself and could feel the pain coming.

And also somewhere there’s this scientific paper I read, which basically justifies my reaching for Pop Tarts at a time like this. Something about the brain really loving salt and fat and sugar when life circumstances and energy levels are just at “ugh” levels. Accordingly, I ate the Cherry Pop Tarts, which were accordingly very comforting.

So my Fi-parts, thanks to Youtube and the Pop Tarts (promising band name), were now in the Spiritual ICU because I had way overdone it, in service of goals that my attention toward Se wanted to see achieved, or even over-achieved.

Even if the work wasn’t the smartest, it came off well, and this resting period was good.

Well. FOUR hours later I’m recovering from all of this. Man, it was a day. And yet, it was also a day saved. And given a case like today, I think that missing exercise in order to recover general energy stores is 100% worth it, especially when combined with some reflection and planning for that exercise in the future.

Filed in: Control /110/ | Feeling /64/ | Energy /120/ | Productivity /119/ | Interests /111/ | Fi /35/ | Sensation /40/ | Therapeutic Practice /144/ | Se /25/

So, last week I hit publish on an Operation Guide for the R-108 shortwave radio. So I thought I’d share some reflections on the experience.

There are three reasons why I wrote the guide. First, I wrote the thing because I was triggered to hear that no one could find the official PDF manual on the internet. That’s always really annoying. And anyway, the manuals for these radios are usually pretty bad. I remember thinking, “I could probably find my copy, but still, whatever I can write from scratch will likely be an improvement.” Cocky maybe, but it’s also relevant that so many of those manuals truly suck.

Second, I wrote it because I was familiar with relevant INTJ Character Bonuses and really, it’s hard to go wrong when you get that +2 or whatever the bonus is on your die roll. If your character’s skill attributes in Research and Consumer Electronics Operation are reasonably OK, then I think there’s a reasonable chance it’ll be a good experience.

In this case I took the “I Rewrote the Manual” Level 2 bonus, but included some Level 3 stuff like my personal tips for getting the most out of it. I am thinking of taking things more in that direction in the future.

And third, I wrote it because I knew the radio pretty well already. I use it quite a bit to tune in stations from around the world, and I have enjoyed getting to know how it works.

Naming the guide was a bit of a weird one, too. In the past, I’ve had some really blunt (er…I mean, smart!) critics write me about naming things. One of these people read a review I wrote, in which I shared my general experiences with a thing. “THIS IS NOT A REVIEW. YOU NEED TO DO MORE RESEARCH ON YOUR TOPIC,” they wrote.

Unfortunately their deep, personal irritation took on a very entitled tone. I like to think this person was probably really excited about the thing being reviewed, and wanted to know it inside and out before deciding whether to buy it. And, unfortunately, I hadn’t consulted them on the title of my work. lol

Anyway, this got me thinking. Wouldn’t it be cool to make this my own type of publication anyway? So I decided to call my version an “Operation Guide”, and then edited it to read “KM6NHH Operation Guide” because I wanted to make sure there was no confusion: I positively revel in the fact that a “KM6NHH Operation Guide” is no one’s concept but my own.

Now, at this point I was starting to give the “depth” facet of the “introvert” mental model a real workout. I was thinking all about this new publication of mine, from top to bottom. I imagined turning it into a starter kit for radio owners. I imagined designing and selling my own radios, with important value-adds that would make the ownership experience more educational and interesting!

By the end of the day, I was positively drunk with interest in the topic. Nothing else was really on my mind at all. I was lost in the effort, and happily lost at that. But people around me were starting to notice. My wife brought dinner out to my office, which is always super amazing, but also a big “???”, as in “what in the world are you doing that’s this important?” Her parents asked a similar question, as they were our dinner guests that evening. “Well, I don’t want to RADIWOW, but you see, the RADIWOW has got me into RADIWOW things so deep that I just had to RADIWOW for a bit, and then I started to RADIWOW even more…”

It’s a funny name for sure. And from that perspective, it all feels so random. Who cares about this little radio? All the same, I can’t fault the experience at all, due to the way it had me humming at some highly-resonant creative frequencies.

This is exactly how it feels to put one’s gifts to use, and even if they only make a small difference, it’s no wonder that these experiences seem to momentarily eclipse the significance of one’s entire universe.

Filed in: Technology /41/ | Interests /111/ | Energy /120/

Lately I’m learning that a pretty reliable indicator of a prolific blogging day OR a no-blogging day comes down to the amount & quality of sleep I had the night before.

For example, last night I slept pretty well. I woke up a bit early, and felt “ok”, but then managed to go back to sleep. (My records show that trying to fall asleep again is almost always worth a try because of the mood and resilience boost.)

And true to my past experiences, some minutes later, I awoke in a very pleasant state. Not much blogging was done today. In the morning, I was pretty much resilience personified. Tasks, goals, plans—it all seemed very approachable. In the afternoon, when in theory I was somewhat less rested, I drafted something that seemed a bit embarrassing, but I never hit Publish. Which is funny because I’m pretty sure I would have hit Publish on less sleep.

As another example, take June 4 and June 6, days on which I wrote six blog posts each. That’s a pretty big frikkin’ deal around here.

I went back to my journal from those two days. And there it is again: On those two days I didn’t really get terrible sleep, but I didn’t exactly get great sleep, either. You might say that a particular mental-physical state was reached. (I think of it as a “spiky” state.)

So, especially in the extreme cases, this pattern seems reliable so far.

Also, the state of my “rested condition” varies throughout the day, depending on things like naps and work conditions.

This may be the very reason why I’m blogging right now. Earlier it held no interest. But right now? After a long day of work? Welcome to the spike zone.

Reconciliation

What’s interesting to me is this duality-lens: Who is that prolific blogging person? the…uh…blogstrovert? Who even is that?

Well, it me! At least from one perspective—the simple one. But we can juggle multiple perspectives and models here, no prob. So: It also not me.

You see, I worry a bit about leaving that person behind, or mishandling their needs. Mostly their needs are: A voice, an opinion. But also, some fun. Oh and some insights, shared. Some experiences, shared.

We can call this ESFP stuff, or ENTJ stuff, or ENTP stuff, or extravert stuff, or extrovert stuff, or whatever. But also, the depth-oriented side of this process is important. The side that doesn’t really think in categories. The observant, analytical side of the process thinks and feels in depth.

So I guess I look forward to exploring from that POV, to see what can be learned. How does sleep affect an interplay of different perspectives, judgments, and life experiences? This is really cool to me.

With that said, I’ve strapped on El Sleepo, my smart watch. I went without it for a while, but it’s back, with a Snoopy watch face, and it’s ready to measure my sleep again. To dive in, reengage, and gather additional observations. I hope to emerge with some more insights, be they intriguing, powerful, funny, or even completely in line with your expectations as an astute readership. ;-)

Filed in: Energy /120/ | Rest /21/ | Essays /52/ | Therapeutic Practice /144/ | Productivity /119/ | Sleep /10/