Well first it was going to be one of those little up-arrow buttons that does the “scroll to top” things on mobile devices. Except you’d tap it, and it would take off like a rocket, disappearing off the top of the screen. I mean seriously: You don’t need an extra button for that scrolling stuff anyway. Whoosh! There it goes.

Then I thought, “what if it farted or something?” Man, my kids would love that.

Then I remembered The Keychain. What was it called?

I guess it was THE EXECUTOR.

…you know, the sound effects toy from the naynteen nayntees! For kids! Man, I used to sneak around the yard, imagining I was blowing up huge Soviet tanks with that thing. Wolverines! Pew pew pew!

So during this brainstorm I thought, “wouldn’t it be incredible if a toy from my childhood was accessible from this very blog, like these eight buttons could be activated from the side of the screen or something?”

That’s how weird things get here on my lunch breaks, sometimes. I’m writing it here hoping I can let it go. Otherwise I might find myself burning 10, 20, 30 hours on something like that.

Oh and I’m on this moderated dirty cut, so I was eating a packet of values-driven Pop Tarts at the time of this brainstorm, too.

In fact, I had just returned from a long walk. It’s warm outside, here in sunny California. So I was laying on my bed, shoes off, a fan pointed at my sweaty body while I ate a packet of pop tarts, stared at the ceiling, and laughed about this toy thing.

Man, remember that ESFJ guy who called me grandiose a while back? Hell yeah I’m grandiose! I’m waxing grandiose about ’90s keychain sound effects on my blog, while laying in my bed eating junk food and losing weight at the same time! I’m not sure what more a person really wants out of life.

Good lord I love Pop Tarts. 370 calories of delight. There’s still room for at least half of a normal lunch after that. Totally worth it.

Filed in: Interests /111/ | Randomness /26/ | Energy /120/ | Dieting /18/

Hey guys, things are pretty wild out in the world these days. It seems like such a far cry from the world I used to know. This got me thinking—what would I recommend, coaching any random INTJ right now?

I think a strong INTJ activity-role to lean on is something like this:

• Formulate questions
• Ask them
• Look into them
• Learn new things
• Create new things, when spare energy is available
• Repeat

Learning from a blank slate is an amazing INTJ role for troubled times. Sure, it can elevate your perspective and make you more convincing in a debate, but you probably don’t need that as much as you think you do.

A big and seldom-admitted part of what you likely do need is emotional support, whether intrinsic or extrinsic. And you need access and opportunities to perform hard, optimistic work, creating outcomes that help you put that INTJ idealism back together. We all need to be able to believe that things are getting better, in the big picture. Seeing a lot of little-picture disasters happen here and there can really mess with that.

Even just the outcome that learning something boosts your mood—that alone makes it worth doing.

Here’s a question for your consideration: “What outcome do you envision for yourself, as a result of navigating these troubling times?” Describe in depth.

In truth, a lot of the solutions that emerge are going to emerge way-post-facto. They are coming years from now. And that’s OK. People are going to work hard on them. You can include yourself in this process, by asking what kind of outcomes you want. You’ll probably have to refine and rewrite the answer over time.

Personally—one of my outcomes is a more anchored system of socioeconomic and political reconciliation. It’s far too easy for me to overlook the parts that annoy me. Instead, I hope to get in on the creative side if possible—even just learning about what creative minds are doing and thinking would be helpful, as a start.

I’m setting a lot of boundaries, too. Taking risks with boundaries during stressful times isn’t smart for a guy like me. I don’t have answers to everything. I don’t really feel like trying to predict things is helping, by itself. Some people have asked me what I think will happen. I told them I don’t know.

I’m also supporting people who are very actively engaged, from my behind-the-scenes position. I’m learning what I can, behind the scenes. And right now that’s really sustainable for me.

There are details that I can’t share, but hopefully this gives you a bit more energy toward building your own creative direction.

Wishing you all a safe & healthy learning experience—

Filed in: Coaching /27/ | Therapeutic Practice /144/ | Energy /120/

I wrote an email to this ISFP the other day. Guy’s a pro at what he does. He’ll help me out for sure.

“Hey, I really need to get [raw, sweet information], but I want to communicate this the right way when I approach person X. Can you help me out, with your insider ninjutsu?”

Reply.

“Hey Marc. Yeah, I think it’s OK if you are just too busy to handle all that information. They’ll understand.”

Whaaat. What.

OK, we apparently have entered the Feeler zone. Where every word I just chose is meant as a metaphorical HOT DOG BUN, merely a conveyance for some FANCY F***KING WIENER OF A SUBTEXT and somehow the equation 2+2=4 could really be a toxic insult.

Well, I’m F***ED YET AGAIN BY THESE F***ING PERSONALITY TYPE DIFFERENCES, I didn’t say, throwing a chair across the room.

No, it’s more like I sat there, simmering for a moment. The information in question was really important to me and my family.

It makes one wonder…

“How in the hell did I just talk myself out of getting information I need,” one wonders. “I mean, should I have somehow put that differently…?” one wonders some more, mostly just quietly and momentarily upset about one’s life and stuff.

I discussed this with blog-kun’s saintly ISFJ matron. She did the sympathy-cringe-look thing which let me know she knew exactly what I was talking about. Then there was this Ne-thunderstrike thing, and she brought up some other topic relevant to the day, and prefaced and suffixed it with, “I really mean that. No hidden meaning.” LOL. Too funny. But thank you anyway.

She left to go for a run, and I was left alone. Alone in this desolate information wasteland. My options:

• Write ISFP back and say something like “ooohhh no! I’m really just wanting the info! That’s all, tee hee”. FUMING AT EVEN THE THOUGHT OF THE NEED. And if somehow that made things more complex…I just couldn’t.
• Sit here and do nothing about that information. GAHHHHH
• Explain personality type to my poor friend; that’ll fix him right up. Oh yeah baby.

See? How crazy this drove me for a bit there.

This is what I would call a “mere perception” effect.

I mean, if I felt like adding yet another mental model to the pile, maybe…maybe that’s what I’d call it. The Mere Perception Effect. Do we really need another one of these?

Oh god…it’s drawing me in…OK here goes.

If a model leaves you with mere perceptions, you might be in trouble. A model should also give you judgments, actions—things you can do about what you can perceive.

Also, INTJs are perceptive-dominant types. Over time, we tend to morph mixed models (perception & judgment-balanced models) into mostly-perceptions. It’s our bias, our zone of strength. We need to expand outside of those boundaries just like anybody else, so it helps to be aware of it.

And this is really where the AOAEI Loop can rocket you to the moon. (If you had a good night’s sleep, that is)

So today’s email exchange was an example of a moment where the model broke down on me for that segment of time in which I grasped for judgments and came up with mere perceptions. Followed by pure emotion.

And those moments are really frustrating. They can call entire models into question, right? You feel helpless.

It reminds me of what my absolutely crazy-ass INTJ & ESFP parents used to say about mental health professionals, “Marc, you just watch. THOSE people are the crazy ones. They are weird and disturbed, grandiose and unreliable and unhinged.” Why, because their sh** broke? Yes. That’s exactly what Mom & Dad were thinking! That their sh** never broke, like others’ did. So yeah, trust us, we’re not crazy. OK wonderful, that’s really impressive parenting. Kkkkk

The self-questioning hits in similar ways, when my grasp of a model breaks in this way: Here I am, the “coach” and “personality type expert” who has just as much trouble as anyone else! Therefore, what a fraud I am over here, ladies and gentlemen. This stuff doesn’t work; never has. My sh** broke. Bummer.

It’s really too bad we can’t fix stuff.

You know? All creative-like. Them fancy pants creative kids.

Nope, you see, friends? Learning new perspectives mostly frustrates you, as new information and learning tends to do. What are you going to do about it? You can’t do anything about all those new discoveries. Quit looking into stuff that’s probably beyond us. Quit worryin’ about it.

Well anyway. I figured out a different way to approach the problem and the information package was delivered. ISFP hopefully enjoyed a blissfully ignorant day in his unfortunately pretty-informational field, not really knowing how to detect info-seekers like us. And I don’t hate him for it. He’s a really good guy.

N.B. via Fancy-pants creative kid: Quite often this kind of experience results in a new model or framework, when a different way through can’t be found. So I guess we’ve also missed an opportunity to invent something new. In this house we attack problems creatively as they come up, whether that involves existing personality type models or creating something new, from scratch, when such models no longer yield leverage.

Filed in: Fi /35/ | Therapeutic Practice /144/ | Relationships /78/ | Control /110/ | Feeling /64/ | Fe /20/

In order to get really good sleep, I have learned that I need to to intentionally ramp down my extraversion before bed.

This means:

First, no posting blogs, comments, etc. in the couple of hours before bed. This causes an exposure effect and opens up performance-related stressors. If I do this before bed I may to go to sleep happy about publishing or making contact with the world, but also absolutely high on adrenaline, or dopamine, or whatever.

Depending on circumstances, that kind of activity can make falling sleep super hard. I have taken both melatonin and doxylamine beforehand, and still experienced insomnia due to this effect. (Maybe I should find a way to post to my blog at the end of a long stretch on a road trip, just to ward off the tiredness…)

Second, I stay away from new stuff and research of new stuff. That is, stuff that’s new to me. Even if—or maybe especially if—it’s exciting. Instead, if I want to learn or research, I turn to history! History and introversion are bros. So I’ll read about WWII or the Cold War or read my favorite Pencil Rocket story again. Post-war Japan is a huge favorite. And there’s the bonus effect—it’s not just history; it’s my history with history. Double-subjective, double-easy.

Third, if I really want to cap off a hard day, I try to blow off steam in the direction of sensory extroversion, rather than e.g. intuitive or informational extroversion. So maybe I’ll listen to a favorite song in which an ISFP-like guy with an amazing voice really belts it out while accompanied by this ESFP-like synth legend guy who reminds me of another ESFP-like guy I follow and it’s kind of a sensory sound/texture feast on top of this “I just like it” layer. This is absolutely mental medicine. Very good for me before sleep.

In the advanced stages of that one, maybe I’ll get up and do some martial arts kata. They’ve all merged into a sort of dance over the years, way more improvisatory and fun. I also like to watch Lia Kim videos and maybe I’ll try to follow along like a dope, but it’s just for fun. Goofing around, relaxed.

Fourth, there’s a bit of an informational extraversion trick—I need to extravert toward introverted stuff. That is, I need to list and reconcile my stuff for the next day, or write or talk out whatever’s on my mind. This is still extraversion since it’s about these objects, but they’re also my objects which is a bit of a funny one but it tends to help sleep.

When I do that I notice my dream messages get kind of desperate sometimes. As in, scraping the bottom of the barrel. I don’t wake up in a cold sweat, because I already reconciled the really scary stuff before bed. I may have even said out loud, “I think I dealt with all the troubling stuff, brain, but you go ahead and flip out anyway if you really need to.” And I’ll have these ridiculous dreams about really petty stuff, and wake up laughing. IDK. Maybe there’s some remote chance that the dreams are still super deep and symbolic, but there’s only so far a dream system can push a guy before he pushes back.

If you make me roll my eyes while I’m dreaming, dream system thing, then yeah, I am probably not going to spend much time analyzing that dream. Geez.

Finally, talking with people before bed—I have learned that I need to sign off early. Whether it’s my wife, my friends, or some relatives we’re visiting, I’m probably going to head to bed before I get myself into trouble just because I’m tired and also talking at the same time. These two are not a good pair. There’s this loop that happens where I feel lethargic, so I don’t communicate well, then I get frustrated that I’m not communicating well, and THEN I can come off even worse. Or I’m just in my own little world of feels, over there watching synthwave and otherwise inaccessible.

And if the other party’s also tired, flirting with their own worn-out-self patterns…yeah let’s just not. There’s a good chance we’ll both feel like total idiots come the a.m.

I still use sleepyti.me like a boss before I head to bed. This is a really useful tool to me. The most frustrating thing is when I want to get up at a certain time, and then accidentally “miss the bus” and I’m right in the middle of what should be a sleep cycle, and I’m still sitting on the couch. For example, I know I should have fallen asleep by 10:30, but now I might as well wait until 12 a.m. to fall asleep OR flirt with a really bad waking experience when I eventually need to get out of bed in the middle of a sleep cycle. That totally sucks.

Yeah, and also it’s what happened to me last night.

Now, if you reverse all of this, and do it during the day…

…a lot of this is exactly the stuff I also do to recover after I’ve had a bad night’s sleep. It really makes waking & being wiped out so much more tolerable.

Filed in: Rest /21/ | Energy /120/ | Therapeutic Practice /144/

Are you profane? I mean, do you use a lot of crude language and “bad words”?

Probably not, I’d guess. Some of you are outliers and I have worked with you too. But most of you, nope.

There’s really something interesting about INTJs and profanity. It’s awkward and generally not cool. No matter the background. Religious or not. Quiet or not. We tend to prefer this more refined approach to language and communication.

Some thoughts:

• Information, especially high-level information like big-picture theory or concept, flows more easily in the absence of profanity.
• Profanity is kind of the enemy of nuance, and our perceptions, the information that’s very important to us—yeah that stuff is really nuanced.
• INTJs see composure as a helpful asset. The “no, you didn’t actually surprise or impress me” look is part of our repertoire, part of the way we attempt to shape the psychological playing field. On such a playing field, profanity is too risky a play.

Anyway, lately I’ve been experimenting with profanity. You’ve probably seen me alternately using asterisks and leaving them out.

Because duck that asterisk split.

Some profanity is just normal and even sensible, I think. It’s a mood. A message. A backstop. Maybe a way out. It can lock you up in some ways, but it can also unlock you.

When I use profanity naturally, I often start to feel like I’m unlocking on the emotional end. It’s powerful, the fact that a string of words can do that.

Then there’s this stage after that, where I think there’s an opportunity to get deeper into the emotional complex, so to speak. If you go here, the profanity probably stops. But also, you have unlocked this amazing set of tools. It’s the “look, I’m sorry for cursing up a storm, but I just can’t do this anymore…” It’s the opportunity, the door opened to a reconciliation which absolutely cuts through the nonsense. It digs through the soil, through the cow poop, through the shit, and gets down to the burning heart of the matter.

And if you don’t do that, there’s this stage where you maybe are, and are seen as, a profane person. Base. Shit. Soil. Merde. You’re in between. In the common place. Stuck.

So while I wouldn’t encourage anybody to become profane, I think I’d offer that profanity can be an opportunity. It offers a lens. Maybe a mask. You can put it on and dance around, and frighten people, but then maybe you find that as a result, you made this hyper-natural connection to another world.

Anyway. What the truck do I know. But that’s been my experience.

When I lived in Japan, there were no real bad words, as we call them in English. That was kinda funny. But when I accidentally pissed off a yakuza-type guy and he chased me down the street, I started to learn how to recognize Japanese profanity. It’s pretty crude. Definitely a thing.

Filed in: Feeling /64/ | Fi /35/ | Fe /20/ | Therapeutic Practice /144/ | Relationships /78/

I just noticed someone left a five-star rating on Whole Productivity. Thanks to whoever you are! That feels awesome.

I have received a lot of positive feedback on that system, including “please keep it up” feedback. More is on the way, and I’m really excited about it.

Filed in: Publications /44/

I don’t like the word Procrastination, but it helps me communicate to the public on this blog.

I’ve watched some of you start businesses recently. Here’s a pattern:

• I’m going to plan everything out.
• All the major parts are in place. PERFECT.
• But what happens if…(terrible thing I don’t know about)
  • I have no idea what to do if that happens.
  • I want to prepare for it though. It could absolutely torpedo me.
• I’m stuck.
• (Months/years pass)

One of these INTJs shared this perceptive-intuitive process:

• I’m super excited about this new idea.
• I’ll be connecting skilled workers with people who need them.
• I’m going to be in a position where I’m the middleman.
• That’s good for me, but what if somebody wants to go around me?
• What if they try to cut me out?
• What if they think I’m not worth the extra cost?
• What if I’m NOT worth the extra cost?
• I’m stuck.

(I’m sure some of you are shouting answers into your screen, but stay with me here)

This kind of anticipation procrastination happens to me sometimes, too. We need some encouragement!

Some encouragement:

• I thought I knew what would happen if I contacted my university about finishing my university degree. I didn’t! In fact, I had my degree completed within a couple days, after writing a single email. WTF?
• I thought I knew what would happen, generally speaking, if I had children. I didn’t!
• I thought I knew what would happen if I started this blog. I didn’t!

Hmmm. That’s weird. It’s almost as if introverted intuition, also known as subjective intuition, is so subjective that it draws directly on past experience, and if I lack relevant past experience, I may therefore lack the ability to predict how a thing will turn out? I may be totally surprised by the outcome?

We’ve been over that before. But that feeling, the “I see what’s coming” is so fudging intoxicating.

When Anticipation Procrastination Saps Energy

This kind of procrastination is the WORST as far as energy goes. It can drain you for days, months, years.

Why? Because you already saw the future. And it sucked. So yeah, that won’t work!

So uh, everything sucks. Well that’s just grand. Your executive processes have been muted by your dominant perceptive process. THE ORACLES HAVE SPOKEN.

It’s rare to find an INTJ who realizes just how much mental effort is involved in visualizing such an important outcome. But when you add in the part where you emerge with a feeling like “I have no idea what to do about a near-certain possibility”, it’s just obscene. That’s a LOT of work involved in just perceiving all of that.

In fact, speaking in general, our world rarely gives “mental information” work the credit it deserves. It’s not easy! That’s why so many people would be happy to skip the planning altogether.

Yep, this kind of work can wipe you out in the worst way, especially when it leads you to visualize negative outcomes for a prolonged period. So take care of yourself. Set boundaries.

As an example, I told one of these business-starting INTJs that he needed to take the rest of the day off. I knew it was exciting to think about his new business, but he just spent five hours planning and thinking up various outcomes and contingency plans. He had come up with a LOT of contingency threads. Sorry, I know it doesn’t feel like “doing,” but you’re done for today!

I also encouraged him to learn to trust his future self. Take “tomorrow-you,” for example. Treat them as a separate person. I think you can trust that person. When problems came up in the past, they solved those problems pretty well!

If you can trust them, then some of the contingency planning is unnecessary. If you can trust them AND they’ve solved big problems in the past, then a LOT of the contingency planning is probably unnecessary.

There’s still the temptation to use the contingency planning, and continue visualizing, because it’s such a strong muscle, so to speak. But the time has come to execute or continue looping. (One thing you can do is go meta and plan, for example, to execute by a given date if you haven’t come up with any better ideas)

A big part of breaking out of the Anticipation Procrastination loop is exactly this: Taking a break, deciding when to dive in, and trusting your future self to be at least as smart, if not smarter, than you currently are.

Filed in: Se /25/ | Ni /42/ | Intuition /62/ | Procrastination /23/ | Sensation /40/ | Productivity /119/

Since I started listening to the new podcast series, Wind of Change (iTunes link), I’ve been really fascinated by the idea of sources and methods.

Do you protect yours?

Of course you do. I mean, if you’re a really hardcore contingency person, you definitely do.

I’m the same way, at least some of the time. So I started thinking about context. When to share a source. When to share a method.

This thought led me to a recent blog post but there’s much more than that:

• What are my sources?
• How do I qualify a source? It’s mostly intuitive for me, but should it be?
• Some of my methods are definitely homebrew-good. They’re “oh god go get a patent” good.
• Some of yours are, too.
• What I hear from INTJs is that a lot of you are in this box.
• Also a lot of you get tangled up in contingencies. Like, your attorney wouldn’t sign an NDA because you were afraid he’d steal your idea.

So there’s some funny stuff with this sources and methods lens.

It’s not the only lens, thank god. There are a lot of reasons why you absolutely should not protect all your sources and methods. Or your un-sources and un-methods. Your destinations and perceptions. A lot of INTJs protect those, as a way of making sure that the conceptualized destination is still there when all the work is done, for example.

So some nuance is called for. I spoke to some of the nuance in that last blog post. But what if…

• What if teaching and sharing is also learning, for you?
• What if sharing and appreciating is also fun, for you?
• What if appreciating and publicly thanking also feels good, for you?
• What if giving away that precious gold also grows your business or reputation?
• What if sharing more also heals your relationships more?

This is why some focus on “what TO DEFINITELY share” is worth our time and experimentation. It’s easy to get stuck in “what NOT to share,” meanwhile there’s a whole world out there in which the pie really is expanding, and information is simply multiplying. Low risk, easy gain.

And then there’s the fact that everything I just wrote is easy to idealize, as an INTJ. So we need to give a little attention to the shadow of this all. The never reveal part. The others need to pay a high price for this part.

I’ll tell you what: A lot of INTJs don’t go here easily. We are not made for protecting and setting boundaries around proprietary information unless it concerns our personal vulnerability.

Part of this is a natural result of treating information as neverending, and kind of throwaway stuff in the first place. So that carries over into personally-created information. You made it. And for some reason, you don’t value it as much as others do! Weird.

But it’s still important. Standing up for your info. Standing up for yourself.

Man, that’s a whole other topic.

Filed in: Relationships /78/ | Energy /120/ | Control /110/ | Openness /49/

[Is this a bitchy post? It kinda feels that way—but at the same time, I think there’s some good info here and I’m not writing it to beg for shares. I really appreciate you guys and hope it’s useful to you. —Marc]

I was chuckling today about INTJs and sharing things. For example, here’s an email I have never read: “My INTJ friend shared your blog with me! I’m an INTJ too! Wheee I’m so excited!”

And sure, you guys aren’t emotional extroverts. That’s a simple way to explain it.

But also: No friggin’ way! If you’re an INTJ, chances are you found this blog yourself like a good little researcher. You added it to your bookmark collection of choice. You stored it up for the long winter, in which we Chipmunks hide away from mean old Donald Duck who’s out plowing the snow, and read our favorite copies of books and blogs and things.

And should there be another winter, you may need the information again! What if someone else finds it, in the meantime, and learns all the tricks? Well, just in case, maybe don’t share it for now.

And maybe! You printed it off into your collection of hard copies of things. (I am getting to know you guys and your hard copies. I no longer have the shelf space. :-))

So yeah, these things, INTJs are not known for: Sharing blogs they treasure, sharing books they treasure, giving referrals.

Sharing, giving—not so much! More like telling, explaining, fixing. Right?

And things get more complex, I think, the more the blog or book appeals to their most intimate self.

If I wanted to maximize my business from this blog, I’d rename it to: “A blog for your quiet friend who already knows everything.”

Man, I’d get so many emails from extroverts spilling their guts about their INTJs! Hahahaha. Ah…my sides.

So what seems to do the trick? Here are some things that help INTJs share:

1. They’re Done With It

First, they’re done with it. They got what they needed out of it. Sure, have a link to this thing, it could be helpful.

Maybe this means they used the thing for something, and then arrived at a suspiciously-broad conclusion about the thing.

(DANGER: While this is an expeditious method of moving on to new interests in a utilitarian way, it’s not really known for making a person smarter, wiser, or more interesting.)

2. They Are Done Thinking They’ll Ever Become It, and are Thus Ready to Share

Let’s say you have been procrastinating your own INTJ blog. Well, you wouldn’t want your audience to come over here, right? They’d get too distracted or bored by the time you had your own blog up and running. Maybe your blog would be old news.

A lot of newly-self-aware INTJs are thinking, “man, I may even become a coach.” So they’re over here trying to figure out this coaching thing. How does he do it? Some of you write me about it, or sign up for coaching because you want to know if it might be a good career fit for you. Maybe so!

Eventually they may also seize on another idea, like “man, I better stick with corporate IT” or whatever it is, and at that point they “outgrew” the thing, so they’re ready to share it.

3. They Either Think It’s Scientifically Defensible, or Don’t Care Anymore

Here is one of the core fears of a standard, model M1-A1 INTJ: Getting caught being dead wrong about something.

And INTJs are more likely to engage in broad, externally-facing research regarding correctness, as opposed to a deep, internal appeal considering factors like systems-internal logic. The Te-vs-Ti thing.

So the INTJ “measures the wind” of science, momentarily assuming the position of an imaginary debate opponent. In other words:

• If I google “MBTI is unscientific,” what do I find? (Nevermind the fact that MBTI is not INTJ and vice-versa—you see, it’s also a depth problem from the start, and here goes this broad, shallow search)
• Could it convince me, or is the result some wild-looking ENTP website? (jk)
• If it’s convincing, I’m sorry but we are done here.

I’ve seen some pretty funny treatments of this “cover my correctness contingencies” pattern. It’s very easy to mock. It’s shallow af, even and maybe especially where scientific correctness is concerned.

(I’ve written some delicious rebuttals of the “scientific” complaints over on Reddit, indeed sometimes it feels like the idiocy never stops when you have a continually-refreshing supply of grumpy and spiteful INTJ teenagers, procrastinating their homework yet again while delivering lectures on a site like Reddit)

4. They are done hiding this part of their Intimate Self

Like I mentioned above, if the blog is going to reveal a ton more about them, and make them vulnerable, then just no. They might as well share their subscription to Playboy, or Playgirl, or whatever. Not gonna happen.

But then you get to the point where you DGAF. You think “it’s better if people get the info. I’m not super concerned about stuff happening to me. I can handle it.”

5. They are one of THOSE INTJs, God I Love You Guys

Every once in a while I meet an INTJ who is:

• Really open to new ideas
• Laid back and generally upbeat
• Emotionally there, not just informationally there. Right? Brings up your emotional stuff, or whatever it is that’s in the air.
• A secret strategist like other INTJs, but wayyyy more personable and open about it
• Less of a big deal, and OK with it

These people are REALLY cool, in my opinion. I don’t know who raised them, but we should all be more like them.

When I coach people like this, it’s amazing, watching them do all these well-rounded-adult things.

6. They found just the right sharing target and context

Here’s another core gift: Seeing in your mind the kind of person who would benefit from a blog like this, or a thing like that. Conceptualization. Heck, even seeing the exact scenario and exact individual, seeing the entire interaction in your mind’s eye.

That’s pretty fun. “Hey, I was thinking of you, and I thought you might like…” and then just seeing that land. “Oh I love this information, it’s so glorious, oh I can’t contain my joy” or whatever. ;-)

Otherwise what are you going to do, randomly send your ESFJ aunt an INTJ blog, because you got excited? Nobody needs that kind of trouble.

But this does bring up some relevant risks:

• What if your audience, people who you don’t yet know, just like to see stuff that makes you excited?
• What if waiting for that perfect moment is preventing you from having a voice at all?
• What if all you need to start with is a voice, even if you end up changing it a bit later?

Share Now

So there are some ideas on this phenomenon. It’s kinda fun to think about it. There’s certainly some really kickass information I’m not sharing with you, because in order to discover it, you’d also have to go through my underwear drawer, so to speak. And I think that part is OK.

For now.

Filed in: Openness /49/ | Relationships /78/ | People /74/

Here’s my daily dose of Desktop Environment synergy: I converted a bunch of Windows 3.1 wallpaper background BMPs to PNGs, and then happened to try out the one background that made my Geany theme look really great.

I don’t know what it is about tiled wallpapers (probably: needing to arrive at a pleasant sense of order before the weekend) but I’m going to keep using them (order your sh*t) and designing them (wtf, just straighten out your sh*t) until I figure it out (gahhhhh subconscious dead).

Filed in: Interests /111/ | Aesthetics /4/ | Feeling /64/ | Sensation /40/