Kiesza - Hideaway (Mitch Murder Remix) - YouTube
Depeche Mode - It's No Good | Youtube I have a very amusing ESFP friend who reminds me of Dave Gahan. Good feels every time I see a video. Seeing him sitting around drinking coffee and eating a sandwich in this one made me laugh.
François Valéry - Aimons nous vivants (Live Age Tendre 8) A nice live version of a favorite French '80s song. :-) Getting old but a classic.
Some new stuff has arrived!
INTJs on Youtube
I’ve posted some links to INTJs you can watch on Youtube, on the front page of the blog. My personal list of Youtube INTJs is longer than this, but you know how it is…those others will be my contingency INTJs for later. ;-) How’s your info-hoarding coming?
New Photo of Yours Truly
I’ve had a beard for a while now, so there’s a new photo reflecting the change in my “personal branding” or whatever.
This counts as personal branding, right? I wonder if there’s a secret Personal Branding Cult out there somewhere with a branding iron and a literal personal-branding ritual. Hm. And may I just offer: A Skull above any other, for those who remember that great film.
Various and Random Updates in the Sidebar
My coaching business continues to grow, and I’ve started to specialize. I never really did this with my web development business, but with coaching I kind of have to because of a busy schedule. Plus, I’ve tried a lot of different types of coaching and now it’s time to set boundaries, placing my focus where I enjoy my work and know I can offer extreme value.
So with that said—if you know tech professionals, business owners, or performance-oriented individuals who could benefit from coaching, I appreciate the referrals as always.
In parting: Please enjoy this video of Louis Cole performing with Vulfpeck. Take care everybody, and have a great week.
Filed in: Coaching /27/
More on this later, but for now: This has been very helpful.
I click a little button in my computer’s desktop environment, and this window pops up. It is a shuffled, random selection of ten items from my most recently-updated Interests file. P stands for “Promising” and NP stands for “New and Promising” which basically means, “you’ve had some luck in mining energy from this interest recently, might as well keep trying to mine that vein.” It’s an integration of the idea of leveraging momentum. LT stands for “long-term interest” which is meant to help me dig for deeper significance in specific interests.
Momentum with…Figs? Well, it’s a work in progress. But to use that crazy item as an example: I like figs. Do I feel like a fig today? If it sounds good, maybe my lunch plan just got that much better. It’s a little thing which is sensory, maybe easy for me to ignore, and yet I find that I enjoy some of those little, easy, sensory comfort points. They make me feel more comfortable during a hard day. For this reason, it stays in the list.
It’s been fascinating to discover how easy it is to transition into and expand upon these interests when I open up this window. It’s easier and more interesting than aimlessly surfing the web, a fact which has been pretty amusing. Are others out there like me, just an interests-list away from a more fulfilling day?
(When I select an item and click OK, the interest is copied to the clipboard for use in my text editor. I don’t use that feature much but it’s an encouragement to expand on my journey with that particular interest, logging my progress.)
Filed in: Interests /111/ | Therapeutic Practice /144/ | Energy /120/
I hope everyone is enjoying the new year so far! I just published some updates to my daily journaling template: Daily Journaling Template, Markdown Format, February 2020
The updates include:
With these adjustments, the template is now more temporally balanced, in addition to covering various aspects of the Jungian-style cognitive functions. It should be something to which one can more comfortably return later in the day.
The evening journaling represents a factor which I have rediscovered recently: About a decade ago I was struggling with insomnia, and I discovered that writing 700 to 2,000 words about my problems before bed allowed me to sleep like a baby. More recently, I have been trying out different sets of questions that help me bring more motivation and confidence into the next day. Some of those are included in this template update.
I’ve also enjoyed doing Task BATL and am really proud of the way it’s impacted my life for the better so far. I’ve heard good things from others who have tried it. It shocks me, sometimes, just how much fun I need to inject into my day to “take the day back,” and what that means. I will continue to share what I’ve learned when I can.
As always:
I continue to use this template myself, and find that it has become one of my most useful tools for near-instant stress relief. Over time, this habit also tends to build a pool of documentation which can be used for knowledge capture.
Filed in: Productivity /119/ | Therapeutic Practice /144/ | Rest /21/ | Publications /44/ | Energy /120/ | Control /110/ | Sleep /10/
For 2020: What’s your new reality? What do you perceive it will be?
Perceptions are important. Many INTJs take a bath in their perceptions all day. It’s tough to avoid. They just come to you.
Now. Where do you perceive your new reality needs to go? Slightly different than the question above.
Still a perception question. But more creative.
Creation of beneficial new realities is important.
Next: Where will you take it? What new reality will you create? What do you want to create?
Might as well use that conceptualization gift. Are you creative—not in the hands-on sensory sense, but in the positive conceptualization sense?
And here you are thinking about the big picture; it’s a strength. An opportunity to think in broad terms, grandiose terms.
It’s OK to be grandiose; that might as well be a foundational activity for a big-picture thinker. For others, maybe not so much.
After all that: What seems possible to you?
Does anything not seem possible? Where do your perceptions draw a (grumpy?) line of no-further-possibility-of-growth?
Life is way, way too short to waste on anything less investigative and forward-thinking than such a question. So let’s poke at those grumpy perceptions a bit, let’s hold them responsible for something positive.
And, is life enjoyable right now? If not, what needs to change? Right now, even? Right this second?
We started this exercise with our perceptions, the things that naturally come to us. But then we put a little bit of work into it. Then some more work. (At least, I hope you did—if not, re-read, it won’t take long)
My hope for all my readers: Let’s build the space, set the boundaries, and allow ourselves be more idealistic as we head into this new decade. Let’s start again from that creative place, if needed, so we can envision an outcome that may sometimes seem so elusive. Things will get better,
because we designed them that way.
Filed in: Productivity /119/ | Energy /120/ | Therapeutic Practice /144/ | Openness /49/ | Goals /52/ | Thinking /70/ | Ne /17/ | Essays /52/
Happy Holidays, everybody! As we close in on 2020, I thought I’d share some of the New Year’s Resolutions-related items I’ve learned over the last year. My 2019 Resolutions have gone pretty well so far, with quite a few new lessons learned.
First, A System
Here’s my general system. It centers around Philosophy, Organization, Reminders, and Access.
Organizing the File
Within the text file, I have sections for:
Some Lessons Learned in 2019
First, I learned even more in 2019 that New Year’s Resolutions are really whatever I make them. There’s no set “thing”. And I think this messes a lot of people up. The way we communicate them, they’re these hazy, single-line, “I will ___ more often”-type things. That’s kind of unfortunate considering the vast number of people who really do want to change, yet aren’t using critical organizational gifts. Many of them are INTJs.
By personalizing my philosophy and system further, I developed a system that encourages me to reflect and change my goals over time. It’s flexible and it performs well, and it’s based on principles I’ve developed in the past years.
Second, I learned that with lots and lots of text files (thousands now), I have to periodically address questions of organization from another outside level. For example, even though my text files are organized by folder, I found that the time spent navigating between folders was annoying. So I developed a new panel button with quick access to my resolutions file and several other key files. I also configured new software to help me get quicker access to files I need. The “Commander” plugin for Geany is a good example of that.
Third, I reflected even more on the principle of identifying phases of work. So let’s say I have a really ambitious project ahead, and I break it into four or five phases. What does Phase 1 look like? How will I know when I’ve started Phase 2? This has been really helpful, and it’s taught me that in many cases, Phases 1 and 2 cannot be made simple and clear enough. It’s important to gain traction fast. If something sits at Phase 1 long enough, it’s no longer a “Phase 1 Problem,” but rather an issue in the overall approach to either the design of phases or the understanding of the goal.
Reaping Benefits
I’ve really noticed this year that my executive process has sped up. We all know people can change, but I keep catching myself on this one and it’s been very surprising overall. It’s gotten to the point where I will stop and say, “HOLY COW how am I doing this?” If you’ve ever caught that rush, the feeling like “I can accomplish anything,” that’s very similar to how it feels.
It’s a long way from my days of chronic anxiety and depression, that’s for sure!
This work on executive processes is an outcome from my efforts to measure myself back in 2017: I wanted to decrease my use of perception time on a day-to-day basis, in favor of more execution time. Since INTJs are Ni-dominant, we can become stuck in a sort of perceptive hazy-zone. At our worst, this can contribute to a sense of foreboding, or at least convince us that we are not as productive as we could be. Further, it might even convince us that we are “stuck” with a bad outcome approaching. Not good!
Focusing on the development of a more flexible and adaptive executive style has been a huge learning process for me, and I’m really grateful that the professional personality type community helped me learn more about this.
I’ll also mention that I’m getting to be more of a fan of messing things up. Diving in, seeing how things go wrong, and then getting smarter for next time. Building a base of knowledge. It’s good stuff. Long ago I was very much a contingency-planner in the “let’s avoid failure” sense, and all that work on contingencies made me pretty brittle when it came to active, tactical knowledge-capture.
Looking Ahead to 2020
Some of my resolutions for 2020 are:
I’ve already started work on some of this. I’ve found I can’t write it down without feeling like, “hey, let’s use some of this momentum right now to get started.”
What are your resolutions for 2020? What did you learn from 2019? Let me know! Email’s in the sidebar & enjoy the new year.
For Fun
Here are three resolution-related links I enjoyed, which are not related to New Year’s Resolutions:
Some really cool high-resolution Hayao Miyazaki film backgrounds
An astoundingly informational high-resolution map of Europe
And finally, a pretty impressive super-high resolution 365-gigapixel image Zoom
(I guess we are narrowly skirting that one relevant dad joke here…TTFN)
Filed in: Control /110/ | Goals /52/ | Energy /120/ | Productivity /119/
One of the cognitive function-perspectives that can be valuable to INTJs is “introverted sensing,” or Si. It’s dead last in the traditional model of functions to which INTJs give their attention. Which means we don’t usually give it that much attention at all. This can have some serious implications for our health.
What is Si?
Si has many facets and aspects. Some people say it’s 100% this facet and definitely not that other one. But I like a lot of the theories and possible facets of Si. And I think it’s a good idea to be inclusive where thought models are concerned. After all, we’re humans, and as humans one of our special gifts is entertaining all kinds of ideas, even conflicting ones.
A couple of facets of Si I’d like to highlight here are: 1) Si is about your internal feeling of health and comfort and 2) Si is about finding your “thing” or preferred sense of being and feeling, as an individual, sensory being.
(You might have also heard that Si is concerned with memory, tradition, history, duty, etc.—all of this still OK and valid I think, but for this discussion I like the health-perspective. I’d say ISFJs are one of the best personality types for demonstrating this type of Si work.)
Attacking a Problem by Attending to Si
Today, I needed to become comfortable in the physical, sensory sense, so I decided to attend to Si more than I might usually. I gave it some time and watched it develop.
It took me about 5 hours to finally figure out how I could get more comfortable, but it worked really well.
First: What was it? I just felt off. So I started thinking about what felt off. Or, “where” felt off.
How my Si perspective differs from my usual thing
Previously I would have thought about my comfort or health in terms of sensory “ideas” which are not really interlinked. I should stretch, I should exercise, I should meditate. I should optimize my workspace. Don’t you know about that? All of us should know about that! (This is really an extraverted style, in that it starts with the outside idea, usually someone else’s concept, or a group’s shared and known concept, first.)
But introverted sensation is different in an important way. It says, “Forget all those other peoples’ ideas and methods. What thing or combination of things would be just right given your current condition? Which part of your body seems it needs attention right now? How can you take better care of your whole self right now?”
And maybe it’s one thing, or maybe it’s a chain of things. Maybe it’s your body, but maybe it’s just your wrist. And maybe it will change throughout the day, as a tight muscle here also affects muscles over there.
It takes time, too. I think “introversion equals depth” is a really good perspective with which to explore this set of introverted perceptions. Depth takes time. One can’t expect to be good at this right off the bat. And the journey is usually worth it.
So if you’ll be working for the duration, really diving into your career, or if you just want to extend your life as best you can, I really think it’s worth exploring Si and giving some serious attention to Si in practice.
Filed in: Therapeutic Practice /144/ | Fitness /31/ | Sensation /40/ | Si /19/ | Socionics /7/
A couple of years ago, I heard a quote that immediately got under my skin. Paraphrased, it went something like this:
“Being an INTJ means constantly feeling like your hands are tied, and constantly working to untie them.”
I still remember the immediate feeling of identification: It was so true! In so many ways. I was always trying to get my hands untied in projects, goals, relationships, you name it. Feeling tied-up was a great metaphor.
But later, the follow-on feeling arrived: “Is this what my life will amount to? This constant feeling of frustration, feeling tied up?”
If true, that didn’t sound good at all. The thought felt incredibly heavy in my mind.
So was this really true? Or was this concept a false one?
Disclaimer
The methods described below might not work well if you’re worn out, exhausted, or just feeling tired. It’s difficult to work constructively under such circumstances, and accompanying perceptions tend to be dark. If that sounds like you, please take some time out for yourself, get rested, enjoy a nice treat, and re-approach.
Understanding that True and False have Limits
I think this experience really demonstrates the way a true or false model for evaluating thoughts can let a person down. Do you have to pick one of those two? Are there no other options? Because personally, I think I would have gone with “true”, and what a depressing feeling that was.
In practice, it is very easy to accept the premise that there is this idea that’s T or F, and then debate its truth or falsehood. It’s a common pattern (and by the way, it’s a pattern that could trap anybody, of any personality type).
So, one possibly helpful conclusion is: This doesn’t really need to be true or false. It’s just one way of looking at things. It’s a perspective.
Evaluating Perspectives
Now that we can hold this up as a perspective, we can evaluate its leverage points.
On balance, I’d say that this perspective is really risky if offered on its own.
In terms of quality, that’s a huge point against a mental framework. To our inner critic, this can be something to rail against, to complain about. We can see exactly why this is not a very useful perspective.
But! This means we also have an opportunity for engagement with a problem, to use and demonstrate an even more impressive gift. This is where the world tends to say, “the critic role we can give or take, but we like this constructive-conceptualizing-engaging part of our INTJs.”
Engaging with the Perspective and its World
I’ve mentioned before that INTJs are often fantastic at dealing with metaphor. Not only can we engage with problems, but we can engage with problems in the visualized, ethereal world in which they live and are conceived as symbolic relations to other concepts. Long before an idea ever sees reality, we can visualize it and manipulate it.
In effect, we can enter the imagination, play with the idea and the entire imagined world in which it exists; we can add new things, or rearrange things, and finally say, “see? It’s better now.”
This is something that has taken me years to understand, as a very unique gift which can be developed in INTJs. (Not all INTJs believe they can do this, but the intuition itself is a world which can be known better, and the capacity here is nearly always incredible if explored)
So with this thought about having one’s hands tied, here’s where I ended up:
A New Idea, An Idea Improved
I developed a simple add-on metaphor that brought me some peace. It gives a bit more direction to the original idea; a vector, a new pathway. And it lends possibility, or a good chance, of increasingly positive outcomes.
It’s simple, and I offer it only as an example of a constructive, intuitive-space addition to an existing, potentially troubling idea.
So:
Fine—are your hands always getting tied up? Does this bother you?
Then become a Houdini.
(And please—give it some thought! He makes a powerful metaphor.)
Filed in: Thinking /70/ | Openness /49/ | Therapeutic Practice /144/ | Ni /42/ | Control /110/ | Intuition /62/
Illustration by Marc Carson.
In 2019 I started work on a new productivity method: Task BATL. (BATL stands for “Balance-first, Approachable To-do List”.)
The Goal
The goal of Task BATL is to maximize the effect of smart, balanced productivity while preventing productivity exhaustion.
In Task BATL we intentionally combine traditionally productivity-opposite aspects like personal values, enjoyment, relaxation, energy levels, and overall clarity, all within the to-do list itself.
Task BATL is also modular: You can pick and choose from various add-on modules to make the system more fun and effective.
Specific Outcomes
While using Task BATL…
The energy or motivation you feel at the end of the day should also be more fulfilling, since you made progress, kept yourself comfortable, and pushed forward in living a life which is calibrated to your values.
A New Style of Notation
The Task BATL To-do list is composed of three different types of to-do list items. Each type of item is an important part of achieving a balanced and fulfilling life.
The Three Types of To-Do List Items
Since there are three item types, I call this the Task BATL Trigram.
Graphical Symbols (for use when writing by hand)
These are the graphical trigram symbols. The digital / typing symbol equivalents are also given below.
These are then shaded or filled up, bottom to top, as you make progress.
Example 1: As you complete the sign-up for an online course you’ve been wanting to complete, perhaps you fill in your hollow diamond by about 10%.
Example 2: In reviewing your list, you realize that by changing out of your running clothes and into something more comfortable, you already completed about half of your “Get comfortable” circle—an item that felt really good when you wrote it down. You fill in the circle halfway and add a note next to it: “Turn on the fan and play some music,” clarifying the final steps.
Non-graphical Symbols (for use when typing)
When typing, you can use the following symbols:
Since these letters cannot be made hollow and filled in as we go, we add a dash and then a number indicating how much progress we’ve made, from 0-9 and including X, with X meaning “task complete.” Additionally, brackets are used to set these items apart in your text editor or writing software.
Example 1: [T-5] Activate new debit card. With card in hand, call (800) 555-1212. (The number 5 indicates that the first 50% of the task was completed when the debit card was brought from the kitchen counter to the desk workspace; now only a phone call remains).
Example 2: [F-X] Turn on a favorite TV show to watch in the background. (The show is now on, and this task has been marked complete with an “X”)
Bad Example: [V-2] Complete University Course on Calculus. (This task is lacking clarity. The verb “complete” does not illustrate any next steps, and is more like a goal, rather than a task tied to a goal or value.)
Beginner Tips for Best Balance
I also like to use a little “i” to indicate that I have in-depth time and task clarity on an item: I know how long the item will take to do, and I have guesstimated the time it will take to perform the sub-tasks, which are listed as sub-items. For example:
What to Expect as a Beginner
Remember that your energy and perceptions may jump to, or swing quickly between, positive / negative as you evaluate or study this from a beginner’s point of view. Not only is this a new type of list notation, but it’s also a new and more inclusive way of looking at productivity for many.
Pay attention to initial, inner criticisms like, “it looks complex.” Ask yourself: Have you tried it yet? For how long? How does it work for you in practice? What do you like / dislike? A good beginner’s goal for any new undertaking should involve developing a nuanced, multi-dimensional point of view.
This is new information, and to your introverted side, new information is sometimes easily interpreted as an enemy. But please give it a try. I’d love to hear your feedback.
Task BATL is Modular
You can add “modules” to be used with Task BATL. I have listed several modules below, under the “Task BATL Module Catalog” heading.
Task BATL is Flexible
There are no set rules in Task BATL (believe me, I’ve broken each and every item or guideline that may seem like a rule here, in the name of learning), and its modular approach makes things more flexible.
Energy-first Prioritization
Always start with the item that seems most attractive right now, regardless of the type of item. Even if you feel some guilt, it’s usually wisest to go where your energy leads first.
Use the energy from that activity to lead yourself into the question: Where am I with these other things?
Hard tasks require lots of energy. They also tend to include emotional barriers. To break through a hard item, it usually needs to be clarified. Also, some point of emotional release must be reached before we can find ourselves moving forward. Solutions to these issues are given in more depth below.
Otherwise Priority-free
Do not rank or prioritize tasks, unless:
Raw Information-first
If you’re just getting ideas down quickly, feel free to list them without using any of the Task BATL symbols. Don’t feel pressured to apply these special terms or symbols until you have the items listed.
This is a first step in Clarity—allowing the raw information to flow whenever it needs to flow.
Rebase Your List Whenever You Like
“Rebasing” means starting a new list from scratch. This can be really helpful if your main list is getting long. Once you’ve started on your new list, I encourage you to:
If you’re not doing Diamond / V items, they typically need Clarity or more specific values-enjoyment work
Diamond / V items can be very tricky. They can be focused on the future to the degree that it’s easy to skip them…every day. Some solutions:
Task BATL is Linked to the Three Points / Three-C Model
The concepts here will help you link your To-Do list with the Three Points of the Productivity Triangle, also known as the Three-C Model. They do this by establishing Clarity and helping you find Comfort. Further concerns about Courage should then be easier to address, as needed.
Since Task BATL is modular, you can attach and use these modules whenever you’d like, if they seem helpful.
Module 1. Anarchy Module
Productivity has a strong emotional component which is usually ignored in other productivity methods and books. Task BATL addresses this directly, and the Anarchy Module is a great example. This module can be useful if you ever feel like…
With the Anarchy Module, the steps are as follows:
Anarchy is an extreme. The point of the Anarchy Module, in contrast, is to use extreme thought to balance out the opposite extreme of productivity-overkill. It should lead you to a more balanced mode of thought in which you are more resilient and effective.
Please don’t mistake this module with a philosophy or “way of being.” Treat it like an optional activity, a brief trip to the dark side in order to capture more of the positive energy life has to offer.
Note: If you are experiencing these types of feelings naturally, on a regular basis, you may be very close to productivity exhaustion. Please set firmer boundaries with people, and work with more attention to the quality of your personal experience. Ask yourself to whom or what you are giving so much of your power and energy. Make more time to enjoy life and seek out the big-picture view.
For more on that, see the Debriefing Module.
Module 2. Debriefing Module
Do you feel:
You might have overworked yourself. It’s easy to do.
The steps:
The result of this effort should be a clear, updated view of what’s ahead. And hopefully some of it should be fun, interesting, or even energizing.
Here are some advanced options for debriefing:
Debriefing can feel like an interruption. However, building fluency in switching between high- and low-level productivity is a key goal of a good productivity system. Debriefing can help you become a more resilient problem-solver, who neither gets sucked too deeply into their work, nor floats along with their head in the clouds for too long.
If I have a lot to do, I aim for a simple debriefing about once every hour. If I have to do more than 5-6 debriefings in a given day, this is typically a sign that I’m overworking myself no matter how many debriefings I do. It’s a good idea to decide how you’ll slow down, reward yourself tomorrow with a day off, etc.
Module 3. See the World Module
The See the World Module is meant to provide positive energy from the outside world, and build fluency with work-area sensitivities. If you have to have things “just right” in order to get work done, the See the World Module can help you build more flexible boundaries.
See the World is meant to be a very flexible module—make it what you need it to be, but keep an open mind. Here are some of the various possibilities:
Module 4. FiTe Timer
(Pronounced: Fight Timer)
This module involves using a timer to ease back into a productive mindset, while also forcing in some balance, rest, and big-picture thinking. Specific timers are set for F / CIRCLE (or V/ DIAMOND) activities, for planning, and for T / SQUARE items. If you use Linux you can use my talking timer script for this (Beta).
Here’s how it works:
Module 5. Task Infiltration Medium Exploitation System
TIMES, the Task Infiltration / Medium Exploitation System, is a system designed to get you into a task and working on it as quickly and efficiently as possible. TIMES accomplishes this by opening your mind to the variety of ways in which you can get started.
First, identify a task.
Next, shuffle or review the media below. (A medium in this context is “a way of getting involved in a task”) Pick your top 3 or 4 media.
Starting with the medium that seems most appealing, try it out and see if it gets you working fast. If it doesn’t work within a given time period (say, 5-10 minutes, usually less than an hour), move to the next medium.
List: Media for TIMES Module
Please note that venting is very important to the core productivity theory within Task BATL. Expressing emotion, annoyance, or frustration can surface important roadblocks, or just help clear the decks so that more logical, task-focused energy can take over. This is based on Jungian theories of human psychology.
Module 6: Rangefinder Module
(Also known as the Executive Distance Module or XD Module)
The Rangefinder Module is deployed to increase leverage by measuring how long it’s been since any executive work (i.e. doing stuff) or communicative work (i.e. talking about stuff) has been done on a task or project.
Knowing this distance can help you understand:
Terms:
Place the term, plus distance estimation, on the same line as any task item.
Examples:
Please keep in mind that the goal is not to clutter your list. The goal is to use this module as a tool when it seems relevant or interesting for the tasks you are working on.
Summary
If you use Task BATL, I’d love to hear how it goes! My email is in the sidebar.
Filed in: Goals /52/ | Control /110/ | Publications /44/ | Procrastination /23/ | Therapeutic Practice /144/ | Energy /120/ | Thinking /70/ | Productivity /119/
Lately I’ve been asked a few times what I would change if I went back in time to my 20s. (Why not 30s or teens? I think this is because people really start to feel like they have social freedom and a sort of performance question on their hands, in their 20s. It’s an exciting and unnerving decade for many.)
Here are three things I would change if I could go back to my 20s today:
Social Wisdom and Inner Wisdom Sometimes Diverge
In my 20s, my actions demonstrated that I thought achievement meant a socially-formulated happiness. I judged my goals by their impact, which meant that they were socially-calibrated.
While I would never have said, “hey, money is really what it’s about,” a lot of my actions were informed by a pursuit of a high-earning career, for example.
Going back to that time, I think I would ask more questions like, “how would someone with your beliefs about success act on a day like today? What would they do right now?”
Oh and also, “what would be fun and interesting today?” I have learned that “fun” is underrated and really poorly explored during in the average person’s mid- to late-20s.
Health is You, in Your Totality
In my 20s, I thought good health started with exercise. Feeling unhealthy? Get outdoors! Hit the gym! Get in an hour of cardio, or go lift.
Nowadays I’m more likely to say that health is about weird stuff like: Balance, pacing, design, and reflection. I take a broader view of health.
I’m also much more healthy now than I was then.
I took a really hard approach to exercise in my 20s, but I also emerged from my 20s with a continuing battle against mental health issues on my hands. I had to admit that the exercise alone was not doing as much as I wanted it to. Even if it was something like a martial art including a lot of movement combined with meditation and life philosophy, things were, on balance, not really feeling great.
Overcoming this huge mental health burden while doing simple exercises like walking and hiking taught me a lot about my internal health, my whole-body-system health.
So, in my 20s you could have told me “if you’re depressed, get more exercise” and I might have replied that this was obvious. Upon reflection in my late 30s, however, I learned that this kind of thinking even contributed to depression symptoms I had previously experienced. I didn’t have the right tools to look beyond these health-knowledge-maxims and exercise-knowledge-maxims and into my own subjective condition.
A Do-it-now Performance Bias is Not an Introvert’s Best Friend
In my 20s, I thought that I needed to do all of this sensory stuff, and do it really well. Oh, and I thought I needed to do it now, in order to stay ahead of the curve. Designing, building, performing, coding, writing, and so on.
Success, it seemed, was wrapped in a tortilla of getting things done in the sensory realm. This created an energy-draining vortex of huge proportions as I raided my best personal resources in search of a way to accomplish the day’s list of tasks.
On top of that—sadly—even when I accomplished all those tasks I was left with a huge emotional weight. Who was I working for? What was I really trying to prove? And was this the best way to live a life?
These days, my tortilla is designed in the intuitive realm and then it’s kept up there for reexamination. I have learned that I need to continually return to the big picture, even when I would have previously thought the rest of the job was nothing but details to get right. If I’m procrastinating a project, it usually turns out that there’s a big-picture issue, not a little-picture one. And many times those are much easier to attack for us intuitives.
Summary
Well, there’s more than this…I had another three bullet points here but I just don’t have time right now so maybe later.
If you’re in your 20s now, and reading this: Please look after yourself as best you can, and contact me if you have anything you want to talk about, as I’m always happy to help. Email’s in the sidebar.
(Now…what would I change about my 40s, ten years from now, or even 20 years from now? I’m actually kind of excited to find out. So far my 40s have been a huge improvement in comparison to the previous decades.)
Filed in: Therapeutic Practice /144/ | Goals /52/ | Feeling /64/ | Essays /52/
Do you think people can change?
INTJs are commonly and perhaps even “notoriously” change-oriented, but many INTJs who are in the Energy Reactive zone for one reason or another tend to find themselves in a strange position. On the one hand, they’d love to believe that change is possible. In the big-picture, they even see it as inevitable.
On the other hand, people in this position are often concerned that things in the immediate present could be simpler to attack if they take the position that change is not likely, not possible, and essentially not worth the time.
Here they come, then, approaching a huge problem with only what’s on their back. It’s daring, if not always advisable. Why not build some tools to take along? Some creative weapons, even? Why not…change a bit, before, during, and after tackling that big problem?
Help, I’m stuck on a rail
It can be incredibly frustrating to feel like you’re stuck riding a rail toward a bad place in your life. This type of perception tends to come to INTJs when we are stressed out. I know I have seen some very prominent rails coming. In my mind’s eye, I was already stuck, reality or no. (Repressing the thought of those rails is, I find, a terrific way to end up stress-eating.)
As a result, a sort of change-pessimism forms. This is one of the first symptoms: If what I see coming is truly what’s coming, then almost by definition, meaningful change is impossible…! This is a sort of tyranny of the INTJ’s intuition. Our ego—powerful, strong…now acting against us, as it were.
But the perceived rail, in many cases, is simply that: A strong perception. In other words, be it a genuine oncoming rail or not, what you’re seeing ahead is a terrible and overcoming vision of you meeting that rail and becoming stuck to it. You may start to act like you’re on a rail, but even that doesn’t mean that the rail is really there.
Help, I need to get off the rail in my mind, so I don’t get stuck on the rail in real life
What’s often needed here are tools that assist in executive function. Perceptions strong, judgments weak. Up the judgment quantity and quality—and boom, many rail-riding situations are ended this way.
Measurement and analysis are two really excellent tools for making executive decisions. You know, I’ve blogged about those things before.
Help, I don’t think I have time for that, and I’m not sure it will work
And this kind of sentiment is where real change is avoided: OK, so here’s a new thing to learn; it could go deep, and there’s this change-panic that sets in: I don’t know how much time I have; what if it’s not enough. And what if it doesn’t work; I have no contingency. What else is there? And we move on to something else.
In the end, if you are forced to solve the problem in front of you using the same tools you’ve always used, because you couldn’t really settle deeply into a problem-solving change pattern, it’s really no wonder.
What’s happening here is, there are two broad problem-solving modes:
Breadth is all about light-touch, quick iteration, and fast results. What breadth lacks in depth, it makes up for in its amazingly good match with life’s hustle and bustle. Socially, very few people will argue with breadth. The “people” organism seeks broad consensus, broad iterations, and genuinely loves it when we tell easily-socially-digestible jokes. Right?
Depth, on the other hand, is all about penetrating, nuanced insights, slow and careful development, and high-quality results. And socially…well, I’m sure you’ve told a few deep jokes before. You know how it goes.
This is where I really like to introduce the opposite-personality type model. A really stressed-out INTJ starts to think like a ESFP Performer / Improviser:
Some of that is true, good, and honorable. And yet, it’s still worth examining, in all its attractiveness. The problem is, you may be accountable to that broad-thinking, improvisational person inside you, but you aren’t really that person, so much. (If your ego disagrees here, please be very careful with yourself and understand that I can’t cover every last individual case, but this is an important little corner of the personality world)
And as it turns out, INTJs are great at going deep. Really great. Your personality type code tells you this right in the first letter: I is for Introvert. Introverts are deep, as a type of individual. As we integrate more nuance into this single-dimension model, it turns out that everybody is deep in this way or that, but given just I vs. E, Introverts can be said to stand out due to their depth.
That is depth. It’s not easy to do socially, but we have to pay attention to it or we become less of who we were in the first place, and even put some of our most valuable mental real estate up for sale at bargain prices.
So it should stand to reason: More depth should never be considered the enemy. And I watch INTJs learn this lesson all the time:
You see, the enemy in that breadth-biased decision making is often breadth itself. Depth has nothing to do with it; it’s more likely that the individual has let their your psychology fool them into thinking that depth is a terrible risk of your time and talent. That depth is all or nothing. That depth shuts out breadth. That depth leads toward ineffective executive processes and drains productivity. And those are lies! All lies.
If you’ve been pushed into that corner where all you feel you can do is scramble to find a way out, you may not feel terribly change- or depth-capable, but there usually is a gradually-deepening approach to depth-based problem solving which can be manufactured on the spot and given careful attention toward the desired outcome.
Deep, effective change is possible. You may temporarily be wearing goggles that hide the fact, but it’s possible and its characteristics even play to INTJ strengths.
So: If you’re on the rail, if you’re feeling the pressure, take this to heart. If anyone can make deep change happen, it’s a creative person who’s in touch with their introverted side. And that could easily be you.
Filed in: Anxiety /32/ | Therapeutic Practice /144/ | Intuition /62/ | Energy /120/ | Essays /52/ | Productivity /119/ | Planning /17/ | Coaching /27/ | Control /110/