WARD FLEN,. (Meaning: “With that” in the language of, P’rune)

Ward Flen is a mostly-spoken language meant for having fun, by being only slightly decipherable. Moggs skim below.

(This is my holiday gift to you all for 2022, I think! Just in case I forgot whem blogenter more’anthis)

Ward Flen is composed of words with classes, numbered flen 1-5.

Class 1 words are the GLUE for this special language. These words don’t mean anything but they sound like they do. Examples: tum, tups, misk, natt, ward, worth, enz, flen, oip, thuz/ofv/whem, k’aif, moggs skim, welks, thann, zep. You should add at least 1-2 of these words in most sentences. “Hey oip, then laptop keys?” You can make these up but I got you started up here with some perfectly useful worth glue Flen.

Class 2 is normal things like: laptop, desk, chair, pencil, hat, floor. Also general words like “thinking” or “better”, but basically these words should just sound normal and boring. You should use them to help people feel vaguely comfortable with what you’re saying, just sprinkle them in, it’s how wards can flen better. Tups haven’t natt, much anyway…

Class 3 is words you are talking about that are specific to your situation or place, like if you are at a store maybe the word “aisle” is a class 3, or if you are at a farm then “pumpkins” is a class 3. Or if you are in church maybe “salvation” is a class 3 or something. Class 3 words make people feel SURE that you are not talking nonsense. Class 3 words can therefore & thisway bring you back down to earth if you are talking and someone doubts how serious you are! Like, “Hello, I’m serious as worth the CHRISTMAS SHOPPING! Enz!”

Class 4 is a word that could mean several things depending on how you would write it, but you are saying it, so like “clothes” could be “close” or “close (nearby)” and so on. When you write it you could write c’loes or something. These words are cool because they are like a class 2 or class 3 even, but they also sneaky! Boring but what is saying…?!

Class 5 is a special hybrid made-up word that is special and sounds really fancy, like laptoprimes or iphoneheim or candybarwark. It gets people thinking they KNOW that word but what’s the extra bit—? There’s the fun, that’s class 5 fun right there. Did they hear that right? These are also fun because they are RISKY words if somebody stops and thinks through what they are hearing, they might catch on that you are a War’d Flen Fren.

For written Ward Flen, use ‘ apostrophes everywhere and end sentences in places, like then. Or start a sentence, with comma, also filteringsome! When you write it down it’s not meant to look confusing, it does look kind of different. So you’d write like this to someone who already knows ward flen, and thinks its f’unny situationmind.

OTHER NOTES:

1. Use enunciation and emphasis slightly differently. Let some of your sentences get quiet at the end, or trail off, or trail on (quiet at beginning, gets louder). Or trail sideways, which is where your eyes get big and you just stop mid-sentence and sigh, saying something like “whew” or gulping loudly and then look away awkwardly.

2. If somebody asks what you mean, but you want to prolong the fun, it can help to look away and wince and go “ahhh,” or “yahhh” like you are confused about why they don’t join in the conversation.

It can also help to draw in some breath quickly through your closed teeth, like you are wincing a bit. Then change the subject if you want.

Some of the best places & times to use ward flen are when:

• You want to laugh together with friends or family, and see who says what nonsense
• It’s way too loud to have a conversation, but somebody comes up and talks to you anyway (???)
• It’s kind of too loud to hear you, and you feel like saying something
• You want to interject in an ongoing group conversation, and see how long it takes anyone to notice your Ward Flen
• Another person is intensely focused on doing something ELSE besides talking to you, and you feel like sayin’ something to them
• Somebody is ignoring you and you wish to lodge a casual protest by busting their brain
• Somebody is paying attention to you, and you wish to be casually ignored
• Somebody is prying or listening in on your conversation, and you want to watch their CPU really heat up, see how an overloaded human CPU behaves. Work for it, deciphering always UTILIZEARNS EXTRA cycles w’ard Flen tum!
• You are bored and want to talk to yourself (or a pet) & see if you can make yourself laugh (tip, sing along to a song you don’t know with Ward Flen Karao’kke)

Good luck out t’here everybody with skim & enjoy Ward Flen zep! —Marc

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