JD asks,

Would you say a happy, healthy INTJ is more like an ESFP?

In some ways, sure, maybe so. Maybe the healthy INTJ is more outgoing, upbeat, well-engaged with the sensory world, funny, that sort of thing. Jujimufu is a good example of these characteristics in an INTJ, in my opinion.

At the same time, there’s much more to it!

You can also say that a healthy INTJ looks more like just about any other happy and healthy person. And type is only one way of looking at that. For example…

Healthy ENFJ: The INTJ is more idealistic, diplomatic, and clever.

Healthy ISFP: The INTJ is more gentle, quietly radiant, and able to give attention to complex relationship dynamics.

Healthy ESTP: The INTJ is more impactful, improvisatory with in-situ logic, and genuinely interested in how you are doing.

Healthy ISTJ: The INTJ is more steadily progressive in their pursuits, open-minded, and attentive to the way quiet, simple convention can play a heroic role in life.

(Are we trying to cram 500,000% of things into one individual? No—keep in mind these are small, simple factors of preference and judgment that add up to create a whole experience of, and for, a person. This typically happens over long time spans. Don’t try picking this up over the summer.)

Outside of personality type, maybe you can say these other things about healthy people:

• Their blood pressure is within the normal range.
• Their budget is under control and not an overpowering concern.
• They can give time and energy to the needs of other people.
• They can set reasonable boundaries at work, home, and play.

There’s a lot to this “healthy” thing, and I hope that helps clarify my thinking a bit. I’m glad you asked.

The ESFP model is really helpful, I think, because that’s one of the INTJ’s first stops for relief. When I meet INTJs who struggle really badly—and I’ve been there too—ESFP stuff seems really helpful to them. ESFP perspectives, ESFP judgments. ESFP jokes and sometimes ESFP not giving a care about work anymore, because I’m just done.

So it seems that when we’ve been really hard on ourselves and our energy levels, we just have to head to that opposite.

The fact that there’s much more to healthy living than this single dichotomy has been a really enjoyable thing to me too, though. I didn’t really appreciate this when I was younger, but nowadays I really like that there are so many details to consider. They’re all interesting, and chewy, and you never know how things will turn out. Life’s more of an adventure.

Filed in: Relationships /78/ | Control /110/