Quick Excerpts, from a Library of 492 Titles

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Excerpt #1, from Uncle Wiggily’s Adventures, by Howard Roger Garis

…one to the right hand and the other to the left, like the letter “Y.” “I’ll tell you what we’ll do,” said Percival, “you go to the right, Uncle Wiggily, and I’ll go to the left, and, later on, we’ll meet by the mill pond, and perhaps each of us may have found his fortune by that time.” “Good!” cried Uncle Wiggily. “We’ll do it!” So he went off one way, and the circus dog took the other path through the woods, and now I must tell you what happened to the old gentleman rabbit. Uncle Wiggily went along for some time, and just as he got to a place where there was a large stone, all of a sudden out popped a big fat toad. And it wasn’t a nice toad, either, but a bad toad. “Hello, Uncle Wiggily,” said the squatty-watty toad. “I haven’t seen you in some time. I guess you must be getting pretty old. You can’t jump as good as you once could, can you?” “Of course, I can,” exclaimed the rabbit, a bit pettish-like, for he didn’t care to have even a toad think he couldn’t jump as well as ever he could. “I’d like to see you,” went on the toad. “See if you jump from here over on that pile of leaves,” and he pointed to them with his warty toes. “I’ll do it,” exclaimed Uncle Wiggily. So he laid aside his crutch and his valise, gave a little run and a big jump, and then he came down kerthump on the pile of leaves….

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Excerpt #2, from Right Ho, Jeeves, by P. G. Wodehouse

…the red and expecting Civilisation to take a toss at any moment had caused Uncle Tom, who always looked a bit like a pterodactyl with a secret sorrow, to take on a deeper melancholy. The Bassett was a silent bread crumbler. Angela might have been hewn from the living rock. Tuppy had the air of a condemned murderer refusing to make the usual hearty breakfast before tooling off to the execution shed. And as for Gussie Fink-Nottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming him on sight. This was the first glimpse I had had of Gussie since we parted at my flat, and I must say his demeanour disappointed me. I had been expecting something a great deal more sparkling. At my flat, on the occasion alluded to, he had, if you recall, practically given me a signed guarantee that all he needed to touch him off was a rural setting. Yet in this aspect now I could detect no indication whatsoever that he was about to round into mid-season form. He still looked like a cat in an adage, and it did not take me long to realise that my very first act on escaping from this morgue must be to draw him aside and give him a pep talk. If ever a chap wanted the clarion note, it looked as if it was this Fink-Nottle. In the general exodus of mourners, however, I lost sight of him, and,…

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Excerpt #3, from Diary of Anna Green Winslow, a Boston School Girl of 1771, by Anna Green Winslow

…hall, din’d at aunt Storer’s, took a walk in the P.M. Unkle laid down the commission he took up last year. Mr Handcock invited the whole company into his house in the afternoon & treated them very genteelly & generously, with cake, wine, &c. There were 10 corn baskets of the feast (at the Hall) sent to the prison & almshouse. 4th.–From June 1 when I wrote last there has nothing extraordinary happen’d till today the whole regiment muster’d upon the common. Mr Gannett, aunt & myself went up into the common, & there saw Cap^t Water’s, Cap^t Paddock’s, Cap^t Peirce’s, Cap^t Eliot’s, Cap^t Barret’s, Cap^t Gay’s, Cap^t May’s, Cap^t Borington’s & Cap^t Stimpson’s company’s exercise. From there, we went into King street to Col Marshal’s[69] where we saw all of them prettily exercise & fire. Mr. Gannett din’d with us. On Sabbath-day evening 7 June My Hon^d Papa, Mamma, little Brother, cousin H. D. Thomas, Miss Jenny Allen, & Mrs Huston arriv’d here from Cumberland, all in good health, to the great joy of all their friends, myself in particular–they sail’d from Cumberland the 1st instant, in the evening. Aug. 18.–Many avocations have prevented my keeping my journal so exactly as heretofore, by which means a pleasant visit to the peacock, my Papa’s & mamma’s journey to Marshfield &c. have been omitted. The 6 instant Mr Sam^l Jarvis was married to Miss Suky Peirce, & on the 13th I…

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Excerpt #4, from The Art of Conversation: Twelve Golden Rules, by Josephine Turck Baker

…story-telling. It seems to me that if one would entertain one’s friends now and then with a good story, it would enliven what would otherwise be a very dull occasion. She.–Story-tellers–good story-tellers–are probably born, not made; and yet, the person who is not especially gifted in this art, may succeed in entertaining his listeners, provided that he has wit enough to remember the “point,” and to couch his language so that the dénouement is not surmised, for surprise is an important element in the telling of a story. He.–Occasionally, I hear a good story, and one that I wish to remember, but I can never trust myself to repeat it for fear that I shall commit the flagrant sin of missing the “point”; and that omission would, of course, be unpardonable. She.–I think you might become a very successful reconteur, if you would give some attention to the art in question. Of course, the important thing to remember is, what are the essentials, to omit all unnecessary details, to keep the listener in suspense and, above all, not to omit the point. We can not all be Charles Lambs nor Sydney Smiths, but we can each have our little store of “funnycisms” from which to draw when the occasion is opportune, or the story relevant. He.–Well, I suppose we must decide that one must be a good listener…

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Excerpt #5, from The Observations of Professor Maturin, by Clyde Furst

…hazard … his most sacred Majesty won three guineas, and his R. H. the duke, three thousand four hundred pounds.’ “Concerning gifts, Walpole instances the charming presents devised for a little girl of ten by the Duchess of Suffolk and Lord Chetwynd, aged seventy-six and eighty, respectively; and he prescribes the theory, ‘Pray remember not to ruin yourself in presents. A very slight gift of a guinea or two obliges as much, is more fashionable, and not a moment sooner forgotten than a magnificent one; and then you may cheaply oblige the more persons.’” “Such being the earlier history and tradition of the festival, what should be its modern spirit?” I inquired. “For that, too,” continued Professor Maturin, “there is no lack of leading. Charles Lamb is frankly for ‘the good old munching system … ingens gloria apple-pasty-orum,’ and does not hesitate to prescribe for Christmas, 1800, ‘snipes exactly at nine, punch at ten, with argument; difference of opinion expected about eleven, perfect unanimity, with some haziness and dimness, before twelve.’ “Thomas Love Peacock makes his Rev. Dr. Opimian say, about 1860: ‘I think much of Christmas and all its associations. I like the idea of the yule-log. I like the festoons of holly on the walls and windows; the dance under the mistletoe; the gigantic sausage; the baron of beef;…

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Excerpt #6, from The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman, by Laurence Sterne

…C H A P. XXXVI THE whole secret of health, said my father, beginning the sentence again, depending evidently upon the due contention betwixt the radical heat and radical moisture within us;—the least imaginable skill had been sufficient to have maintained it, had not the school-men confounded the task, merely (as Van Helmont, the famous chymist, has proved) by all along mistaking the radical moisture for the tallow and fat of animal bodies. Now the radical moisture is not the tallow or fat of animals, but an oily and balsamous substance; for the fat and tallow, as also the phlegm or watery parts, are cold; whereas the oily and balsamous parts are of a lively heat and spirit, which accounts for the observation of Aristotle, “Quod omne animal post coitum est triste.” Now it is certain, that the radical heat lives in the radical moisture, but whether vice versa, is a doubt: however, when the one decays, the other decays also; and then is produced, either an unnatural heat, which causes an unnatural dryness——or an unnatural moisture, which causes dropsies.——So that if a child, as he grows up, can but be taught to avoid running into fire or water, as either of ’em threaten his destruction,——’twill be all that is needful to be done upon that head.——…

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Excerpt #7, from The Jest Book, by Mark Lemon

…particular case, a King’s Counsel observed, in a tone loud enough to reach the bench, “Good heavens! every judgment of this court is a mere toss-up.” “But heads seldom win,” observed a learned barrister, sitting behind him. DCCXCIII.–RELATIONS OF MANKIND. BY what curious links, and fantastical relations, are mankind connected together! At the distance of half the globe, a Hindoo gains his support by groping at the bottom of the sea for the morbid concretion of a shell-fish, to decorate the throat of a London alderman’s wife.–S.S. DCCXCIV.–VERY TRUE. SERJEANT MAYNARD, a famous lawyer in the days of the Stuarts, called law an “ars bablativa.” DCCXCV.–EPIGRAM. (Accounting for the apostacy of ministers.) THE Whigs, because they rat and change To Toryism, all must spurn; Yet in the fact there’s nothing strange, That Wigs should twist, or curl, or turn. DCCXCVI.–DRINKING ALONE. THE author of the “Parson’s Daughter,” when surprised one evening in his arm-chair, two or three hours after dinner, is reported to have…

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Excerpt #8, from Roget’s Thesaurus of English Words and Phrases, by Peter Mark Roget

…resumption, resumption; sanativeness^. recurrence &c (repetition) 104; rechauffe [Fr.], rifacimento [It]. cure, recure^, sanation^; healing &c v.; redintegration^; rectification; instauration^. repair, reparation, remanufacture; recruiting &c v.; cicatrization; disinfection; tinkering. reaction; redemption &c (deliverance) 672; restitution &c 790; relief &c 834. tinker, cobbler; vis medicatrix &c (remedy) 662 [Obs.]. curableness. V. return to the original state; recover, rally, revive; come come to, come round, come to oneself; pull through, weather the storm, be oneself again; get well, get round, get the better of, get over, get about; rise from one’s ashes, rise from the grave; survive &c (outlive) 110; resume, reappear; come to, come to life again; live again, rise again. heal, skin over, cicatrize; right itself. restore, put back, place in statu quo [Lat.]; reinstate, replace, reseat, rehabilitate, reestablish, reestate^, reinstall. reconstruct, rebuild, reorganize, reconstitute; reconvert; renew, renovate; regenerate; rejuvenate….

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Excerpt #9, from The Lives of the Twelve Caesars, Complete, by Suetonius

…divine majesty. He ordered all the images of the gods, which were famous either for their beauty, or the veneration paid them, among which was that of Jupiter Olympius, to be brought from Greece, that he might take the heads off, and put on his own. Having continued part of the Palatium as far as the Forum, and the temple of Castor and Pollux being converted into a kind of vestibule to his house, he often stationed himself between the twin brothers, and so presented himself to be worshipped by all votaries; some of whom saluted him by the name of Jupiter Latialis. He also instituted a temple and priests, with choicest victims, in honour of his own divinity. In his temple stood a statue of gold, the exact image of himself, which was daily dressed in garments corresponding with those he wore himself. The most opulent persons in the city offered themselves as candidates for the honour of being his priests, and purchased it successively at an immense price. The victims were flamingos, peacocks, bustards, guinea-fowls, turkey and pheasant hens, each sacrificed on their respective days. On nights when the moon was full, he was in the constant habit of inviting her to his embraces and his bed. In the day-time he talked in private to Jupiter Capitolinus; one while whispering to him, and another turning his ear to him: sometimes he spoke aloud, and in railing language. For he was overheard to threaten the god thus: Hae em’ anaeir’, hae ego se; [423]…

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Excerpt #10, from History of Egypt, Chaldea, Syria, Babylonia, and Assyria in the Light of Recent

…Babylonian history, but the signs and characters impressed upon them offer the greatest contrast to the Sumerian and early Babylonian characters with which we are familiar. Although they cannot be fully deciphered at present, it is probable that they are tablets of accounts, the signs upon them consisting of lists of figures and what are probably ideographs for things. Some of the ideographs, such as that for “tablet,” with which many of the texts begin, are very similar to the Sumerian or Babylonian signs for the same objects; but the majority are entirely different and have been formed and developed upon a system of their own. [Illustration: 230.jpg CLAY TABLET, FOUND AT SUSA, BEARING AN INSCRIPTION IN THE EARLY PROTO-ELAMITE CHARACTER.] The photograph is taken from M. de Morgan’s Délégation en Perse, Mem., t. vi, pi. 23. On these tablets, in fact, we have a new class of cuneiform writing in an early stage of its development, when the hieroglyphic or pictorial character of the ideographs was still prominent. [Illustration: 231.jpg CLAY TABLET, RECENTLY FOUND AT SUSA, BEARING AN INSCRIPTION IN THE EARLY PROTO-ELAMITE CHARACTER.] The photograph is reproduced from M. de Morgan’s Délégation en Perse, Mém., t. vi, pi. 22….

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Excerpt #11, from You no longer count, by René Boylesve

…her, perhaps, if it were not for the cream of the end of the story, a little detail which happens to be true, and which does good." “Let us have done with our good women and our special cases. But you, yourself, what do you think, on the whole, of sacrifice?” “The general opinion is that men are without exception ruled by base personal interests; but this view only takes into consideration the calm level of the human ocean; in reality it has its tempests, which are the passions, and man in a state of passion no longer thinks of his interests. In the depths of my soul I believe that sacrifice may very well cause the greatest happiness.” XXIV Some little time later Odette went to see Clotilde. It was early in a mortally cold winter; for two months already cold weather had raged, bitter and uninterrupted. The question of fuel was beginning to be serious; there were rumors of restrictions in many things. Paris was uneasy, though the newspapers, with their miracle-working ink, turned adversity into beauty. Odette found Clotilde in her usual atmosphere, a happy accident having permitted her apartment to be warmed. She was surrounded by books and flowers, and wore a robe of some silken fabric which moulded itself to her sinuous form. She at once exclaimed:…

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Excerpt #12, from The Pirates Own Book, by Charles Ellms

…opportunity occurring, he, with the mate of the Ocean, and nine of his crew, seized two whale boats, imprudently left on the banks of the river, and rowed off. Before quitting the shore, they took the precaution of staving all the other boats, to prevent pursuit, and accordingly, though their escape was immediately discovered, they succeeded in getting so much the start of the people whom Benavides sent in pursuit of them, that they reached St. Mary’s Island in safety. Here they caught several seals upon which they subsisted very miserably till they reached Valparaiso. It was in consequence of their report of Benavides proceedings made to Sir Thomas Hardy, the commander-in-chief, that he deemed it proper to send a ship to rescue if possible, the remaining unfortunate captives at Arauca. Benavides having manned the Herculia, it suited the mate, (the captain and crew being detained as hostages,) to sail with the brig to Chili, and seek aid from the Spanish governor. The Herculia returned with a twenty-four pounder, two field-pieces, eleven Spanish officers, and twenty soldiers, together with the most flattering letters and congratulations to the worthy ally of his Most Catholic Majesty. Soon after this he captured the Perseverance, English whaler, and the American brig Ocean, bound for Lima, with several thousand stand of arms on board. The captain of the Herculia, with the mate of the Ocean, and…

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